Sarah Palin’s Drunken Son Track Beat Up Girlfriend, Threatened to Kill Himself

Track and Bristol Palin in Sorta Better Days
Track and Bristol Palin in Sorta Better Days

We’ve seen an unhinged Sarah Palin declare war on Ted Cruz, and then, in an epically bizarre rant even for her, endorse Donald Trump. The Clinton campaign in an email to supporters calls this a “bad SNL skit come to life” and says they would like to see it stay that way.

All this madness took place while another Palin soap opera was playing itself out back in Wasilla, where Gawker reported last night that Track Palin, Sarah’s 26-year-old son, was advertising his dedication to Republican family values by beating up his girlfriend in a drunken rage and threatening to kill himself. ET reports Track had a blood alcohol level of .189, which means he was doing himself some serious drinking.

The police report (full report here) by Officer Andrew Kappler says it all:

She and her boyfriend of one year, Track Palin, left a different residence together and were arguing the whole way home. Once they got to his home they argued in the car, then in the driveway . They were screaming and he was calling her names. [Redacted] told Palin that she had called the cops even though she had not, in attempt to calm him down and to scare him away from “touching her”. Palin approached [Redacted] and struck her on the left side of her head near her eye with a closed fist. [Redacted] got on the ground in a fetal position because she didn’t know what else he would do. Palin then kicked [redacted] on the right knee. [Redacted]’s phone was sitting on the ground in front of her. Palin took her phone and threw it across the driveway. She retrieved the phone and went inside the house. Palin was already inside and holding onto a gun, yelling “do you think I’m a pussy?” and “do you think I won’t do it?” [Redacted] stated Palin “cocked the gun” and was holding the rifle out next to him with the his right hand near the trigger and his left hand near the barrel, with the barrel just away from his face pointed to the side. [Redacted] was concerned that he would shoot himself and ran outside and around the house. She didn’t see where Palin went, so she went inside and up the stairs, where she hid under a bed. Shortly after, she heard Palin walking around inside looking for her. Palin left after not locating her.

There was an unloaded AR-15 on the counter. You know, the favorite weapon of “real American” patriots everywhere, and the same one, because of their opposition to sensible gun laws, with which they want all terrorists to be armed.

Here’s the charges:


Imagine, America. This could have all been yours, all taking place in the White House instead of Sarah and Todd Palin’s home in Wasilla. In her endorsement of Trump, Palin famously said Trump “would let our warriors do their job.” She apparently didn’t do her’s in bringing up her loutish son, who, according to a police press release, “was held without bail until arraignment.”

Trump, meanwhile, was indicting himself back in Ames, Iowa, when he said of Palin, “She is a friend, and a high-quality person whom I have great respect for. I am proud to have her support.” He later tweeted, “I am greatly honored to receive Sarah Palin’s endorsement tonight.”

High quality. Yes. Look at that family. Rotten apples everywhere. A brave woman-beater son, a daughter who’s the twice-pregnant-out-of-wedlock face of abstinence, and all of them drunken street brawlers.

You have to ask yourself if this sort of appalling behavior is all going to be part of making America great again.

America dodged the Palin bullet once, back in 2008. We’ll dodge another one in 2016 if we can keep this “bad SNL skit come to life” away from Capitol Hill. Don’t laugh. Trump has already said he’d “love” for Palin to serve in a Trump administration.

We’re not out of backwoods Alaska yet, America.