Iowa’s Steve Deace Threatens to ‘Eunuch Himself’ Over Cruz Campaign

Iowa’s far right-wing talk radio host Steve Deace has a history of saying really stupid things, and we’re not talking about an analysis of polling methodology so appallingly flawed that it predicted another win for Cruz in South Carolina and even in Nevada.

Nossir, rather we are talking about his threatening to ‘eunuch himself’ over the faltering and apparently un-manly Cruz campaign. Huzzah! Of all the stupid things he has said, has to take top prize, and is at the same time, the most appealing.

What drives his sudden thirst for genital self-mutilation? It turns out Deace is disgusted with the recent absence of the Ted Cruz “alpha male conservative leader people fell in love with.”

I guess if Cruz won’t be an alpha male, Deace has decided he won’t be a male at all.

As evidence, Deace cites Cruz playing “hand-slap” with Rubio instead of focusing on his real enemy, Trump, and apologies to Rubio and Carson. As Media Matters for America explains,

Deace, who was part of Cruz’s Iowa leadership team and has given his advice and name in support of the senator, has gone on a tirade against Cruz on social media, his nationally syndicated radio show, and in two parts on Conservative Review. He has denounced Cruz’s current messaging and stance against Trump as weak, despite explaining that he is still a “Cruz guy.”

What really got Deace’s manly quest to exterminate his own manhood is Cruz showing weakness to Ben Carson, saying, “If anyone with the Cruz campaign ever apologizes to Ben Carson again, I may eunuch myself.” Well that’ll show ’em!

Here is the transcript courtesy of Media Matters for America:

If anyone with the Cruz campaign ever apologizes to Ben Carson again, I may eunuch myself, which will make my wife very, very upset. I am desperate at this point. I will do anything, name it, name the price. As a Cruz guy, I will do anything the universe demands, that they never apologize to Ben Carson or really anybody else again.
 
I don’t think they should have apologized to Marco Rubio today. “Well Steve, they put out a phony video.” Yeah they did. It was dumb, and you know what they did, they fired the guy that did it. That’s all. All Ted needed to do was stand up there and say, “Yeah this idiot did it. He’s fired. He’s gone. That’s why he is gone. Next question.” I mean, why are we apologizing to people?
 
[…]
 
The most craptastic figure that’s ever attempted to run for president in the history of this republic, who right now has got 70 delegates … , and second place has 11, and people want nice? They don’t want nice. When your home is on fire, you have no idea, you have no idea when the firemen comes crashing through your front door to rescue your kids, you have no idea if he has kiddie porn on his computer at home. You don’t know if he has got a tongue ring and a john account online. You don’t know that and you don’t care.

You have to wonder if the Bible has a term for “craptastic.”

The Bible is full of eunuchs, that is, castrated (i.e. “de-balled”) males, where they are called sarisim, from the Hebrew word for eunuch, saris. However, sarisim were never Jews, but it’s not too late for Deace to convert and be the first. Iowa conservatives would love that sort of dedication to the Bible, I’m sure, no doubt followed by a trip to Pizza Ranch.

Ted Cruz made a woman faint at an Iowa Pizza Ranch. Now he can make Steve Deace castrate himself. Who says God doesn’t exist?

On Monday, Deace went on his show to say of the South Carolina results, “Third place is third place. There is no excuse for Ted Cruz to finish in third place in South Carolina. … I love him, we are friends, but I don’t believe in victims.” Of course, he was in third place like Sanders was in third place in Iowa.

The old adage is that “pimpin’ ain’t easy.” Try being a messiah.

Deace took to the Conservative Review the same day to write that voters in South Carolina were “sending Cruz a message, and I think that message is that they want him to go back to being that alpha male conservative leader that people fell in love with.”

It is arguable whether Ted Cruz was ever an alpha male. And one should certainly question a worldview that gives weight to the opinion of the Steve Deace’s of the world.

The truth is, Cruz can’t even capture the evangelical vote. Pundits can argue over whether Trump’s attacks on his citizenship factored into the voting, or whether Cruz is simply that unlikable, or whether there simply aren’t enough religious fanatics in America to win an election (an argument I have made here before on many occasions).

Things have gotten so bad for poor Deace, who has already likened Trump followers to Pagans, that he tweeted this just after midnight Tuesday:

Steve Deace hitched his wagon to the wrong horse,and now he is blaming the lame, three-legged horse rather than his own judgment, with hilarious results. It’s only a shame he didn’t come up with this whole eunuch scheme before he reproduced.

In the end, Deace’s self-emasculation may end up being a metaphor for the entire Republican 2016 race.