Friday Fox Follies – Fox Fails At Fair

No matter what the topic, free-thinkers know that Fox “News” will take a side — despite the empty slogan FAIR & BALANCED — just as they know it will be the wrong side. Take Harriet Tubman, please.

You won’t be surprised at how many Fox “News” personalities turn up in “Travesty”: Here Are The Conservative Media Figures Freaking Out Over Harriet Tubman Being On The $20 Bill, nor will you be surprised that Fox & Friends defends genocidal Andrew Jackson: ‘One of the best generals we ever had’, or that Brain Kilmeade added: Fox Host On Putting A Woman On The $20 Bill: “Should We Leave Men Alone?”

Meanwhile, not wanting to be thought as relevant, Neil Cavuto Complains About Andrew Jackson ‘Getting Kicked Off The $20 Bill’, but the funniest segment was when Steve Doocy dropped a deuce in a recent Dooce on the Loose, in which the Fox News Host Tries to Prove Harriet Tubman on $20 Bill is Pandering to ‘PC Police,’ Fails.

He may be on the loose, but — sadly — he always comes back. Meanwhile, Watch A Fox Host Try And Fail To Find A Single Person Blaming “PC Police” For Adding Harriet Tubman To $20 Bill:

Then there’s Ben Carson: Put Harriet Tubman On A 200 Dollar Bill, Instead Of Moving Slave Owner Andrew Jackson, while Fox News Accuses Obama of Going Racist By Putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 Bill, as my editor Sarah Jones writes:

Van Susteren opened with the obvious Fox News link everything negative to Obama tactic and pretend Obama is stupid, “The Obama administration went stupid again and went stupid for no reason!”
“Rather than dividing our country between those who happen to like the tradition of our currency and want President Andrew Jackson to stay put and those who want to put a woman on a bill,” Van Susteren said, setting the racial stage for her audience, using “tradition” to mean white presidents, as “tradition” always means “white straight person” on Fox News.
“It’s so easy to keep everyone happy! We could put a woman on a bill, Tubman, acknowledge her courage but give Tubman her own bill like a $25 bill. We could use a $25 bill. Put her picture on that and we could all celebrate. That’s the smart and easy thing to do,” Van Susteren announced smugly.

Just as smug, but for different reasons is Trevor Noah [who] Rips Into Fox News Freakout Over the Harriet Tubman $20. Watch:

Card-carrying members of the Fox “News” Cult, aka Fox Nation, are the Fox Readers [who] Explode With Racist Hatred Over Harriet Tubman On $20 Bill. Fox Nation is the dark (no pun intended) underbelly of the Fox “News” Channel. Nearly every comment thread, and not just those that touch upon race, turns into a Racist sewer. Don’t take my word for it, but wear your hazmat suit because hateful comments are allowed to remain. And, while you’re there don’t forget its Statement of Purpose, which reads in part:

The Fox Nation is committed to the core principles of tolerance, open debate, civil discourse, and fair and balanced coverage of the news. It is for those opposed to intolerance, excessive government control of our lives, and attempts to monopolize opinion or suppress freedom of thought, expression, and worship.

Just like FAIR & BALANCED, it’s another empty slogan.

LOOFAH WARRIOR: Ever since Bill O’Reilly came out of the closet as a self-declared Culture Warrior, The Falafel King has been on the wrong side of every cultural issue, especially — but not limited to — Race relations. Just this week the headlines almost tell a complete story, continued from last week’s cliff-hanger:

Roland Martin Tells O’Reilly To Put Up
Or Shut Up About ‘Ill-Educated’ Black
Youth With ‘Tattoos On Their Foreheads’

Bill O’Reilly: I’m Not A Racist For
Saying Many African Americans Are ‘Ill
Educated And Have Tattoos On Their Forehead’

“Preacher” Larry Wilmore takes Bill O’Reilly
to church: “When the f*ck have you
ever walked in a poor black neighborhood?”

O’Reilly: “Don’t … Most African
Americans Know There Are Super
Predators Among Their Ethnic Group?”

Tavis Smiley forces Larry King
to confront anti-Muslim rhetoric
from longtime friend Trump

Smiley recalled his recent argument with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly — who also insists that Trump is not a racist — that led him to call the Factor host a “race-baiter” and the GOP presidential candidate a “racial arsonist.”
“The Bill that I know ain’t the Bill that I saw on TV this week,” he told King.
“Is Bill playing a character?” King asked.

However, Loofah Lad was wrong about so much more than race in the last 7 days:

Bill O’Reilly’s case for restricting abortion is beyond ridiculousBill O’Reilly: Women Will Pretend To Have Migraines To Get An AbortionBill O’Reilly Claims Supreme Court Justices Are Trying To Create Laws To Protect Illegal ImmigrationO’Reilly: Media Elitists Consider Trump ‘Personally Unworthy, Beneath Them’

For laughs, however, nothing beats this circular conversation when O’Reilly Has Jesse Watters Explain “The Lobster Payoff” To Him In Discussion On Dating. The humour is in watching the man who had to pay an ex-employee [alleged] millions for [allegedly] sexually harassing her on the phone pretend to not know what Watters is talking about. Watch and read along:

BILL O’REILLY (HOST): That’s my question. Here’s Watters. What happens when you take a woman to — give a woman a lobster? I don’t know what happens.
JESSE WATTERS: It’s the most expensive thing on the menu.
O’REILLY: Yeah? And they’re impressed? Women are impressed?
WATTERS: Bill, I can’t believe you of all people don’t know this.
O’REILLY: No, I mean, I know that lobster is fairly expensive.
WATTERS: It’s the most expensive thing on the menu. If she orders it and you’re paying —
O’REILLY: Yes, yes. Then what?
WATTERS: I can’t believe I have to explain this to you.
O’REILLY: Then what? She’s a gold digger? What? What are you, I don’t —
WATTERS: I’m going to let the audience figure it out.
O’REILLY: You don’t even know!
WATTERS: Of course I do!
O’REILLY: Then tell me what it is!
WATTERS: I mean, then maybe she might be indebted or maybe interested later —
O’REILLY: Oh, I see. A payoff for the lobster.
WATTERS: You spent a lot of money at dinner!
O’REILLY: The lobster payoff.

How quaint. It’s like we’re back in the ’50s.

What else did Fox meat puppets come down on the wrong side of this week?

SHILLING FOR SCHILLING: Fox Panel Suggests ESPN’s Decision To Fire Curt Schilling Is “Literally Destroying Society”Fox’s Todd Starnes Defends Curt Schilling, Says Meme Attacking Transgender People Is Not “Controversial”Fox Guest: ESPN’s Firing Of Curt Schilling Part Of What’s ‘Literally Destroying Society’

VACCINES: Fox Provides Platform For Discredited Doctor To Claim CDC Is Hiding Evidence That Vaccines Cause Autism

UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANTS: Immigration-Hating Rep. Steve King Jokes About Hispanics’ ‘Utilization Of English’ On Fox NewsFox Contributor: “We Are Being Raped In This Country By Illegal Aliens”Fox’s Bo Dietl: ‘We Are Being Raped In This Country By Illegal Aliens’

RAPE: Fox Host Calls Campus Sexual Assault PSA “Fearmongering At Its Worst,” Encourages Women To Carry GunsRight-Wing Media’s Worst Attempts to Downplay Sexual Assault and Diminish Survivors

PRINCE: Fox News asks Stacey Dash to eulogize Prince: ‘You didn’t look at him as a black artist’

THIS GUY AGAIN: Every time he opens his mouth:

Black Fox News Guest on Hillary’s
Hot Sauce Pander: ‘Surprised
She Didn’t Say Watermelon’

Sheriff Clarke Attacks Hillary Clinton
For Carrying Around Hot Sauce: ‘I’m
Surprised She Didn’t Say Watermelon’

Fox’s Sheriff Clarke: Hillary’s
love of hot sauce is as racist as
saying ‘watermelon’ to blacks

CLINTON CONTEST: No prize winner this week in the Friday Fox Follies contest for the first person to spot a pro-Clinton story on the Fox “News” Channel.

Fox News Fear Mongers Hillary
Clinton Wants To Provide Free
‘Everything’ To ‘Illegal’ Immigrants

Fox host: Hillary must ‘prove
she’s not crooked’ because Trump
named her ‘Crooked Hillary’


How and Why the Conservative Media Sold Its Soul To Facilitate Trump’s NominationDid Roger Ailes Offer To Help Donald Trump’s Campaign?Lawsuit makes claims about Trump-Ailes tiesLewandowski Lawyer Threatens Michelle Fields Over Defamation SuitFox’s Kurtz: ‘Pathetic’ for News Organizations to ‘Slime’ Trump SupportersFox & Friends: With New York victory, Trump can now “seize control of credentials committee” and “bodily remove” Cruz supporters from GOP conventionTrevor Noah Ridicules the Media’s Incredibly Low Expectations of Donald TrumpBill O’Reilly Helps Sell Trump’s Border Wall As A Life SaverTrump Guarantees O’Reilly There Will Be ‘Retaliation’ If Hillary Attacks Him PersonallyFox’s Outnumbered Reports on Donald Trump’s Much-Heralded Nickname for HillaryCampaign Manager Pretends Trump Never Threatened Violence At GOP Convention

And, let’s not forget those Foxy Friends on Fox and Friends have been in the Tank for Trump™ for years:

‘Fox & Friends’ orchestrates a round
of applause for Donald Trump

Trump Slams “Dishonest” NYDN
& Politico: “They Have No Facts, I
Hear They’re Going Out Of Business”

Trump: Hillary’s A ‘Phony’
For Claiming She Carries
Hot Sauce In Her Purse

However, don’t let it be said that amid all the hate, xenophobia, and Trump gushing, that the Three Stooges on the Curvy Couch don’t know how to have fun.

Watch Fox and Friends Butcher
‘Sweet Caroline’ For Some Reason

Fox & Friends Eat Breakfast
Cooked in a Car’s Engine

I’ve written about my relationship with him elsewhere, which is why I got a personal kick out of John Roberts Runs the Rocky Steps in Philadelphia. It was certainly one of the longest, useless, and most awkward segments they’ve ever broadcast on that show.

SCAMMITY: While we wait for Sean Hannity to finally explain where all the money went from the Freedom Concerts that was supposed to go to veteran charities, Today Completes Seven Years Since Sean Hannity Promised To Undergo Waterboarding For Charity. It would seem that his charity work needs more follow-through.

Hannity’s VERY OBVIOUS preference for Trump got a work-out this week, until he finally admited what we all know:

Ted Cruz and Sean Hannity Finally Duke It Out

Hannity And Followers Go At It
After Contentious Ted Cruz Interview

Fox’s Cavuto Brings on Hannity to Defend
Him: You’ve Asked Trump ‘Edgy’ Questions

On Your World, Sean Hannity
Gets Defensive Over Allegations
That He’s Favoring Trump Over Cruz

Hannity: “I Plead Guilty” To “Going
Soft In Interviews With Republicans”

What else did this political hack get wrong this week?

Hannity Misgenders Caitlyn Jenner And Calls On Her To Come To “Curt Schilling’s Defense”Hannity Rehabs Trump Campaign Manager, Corey Lewandowski, After Battery Charges DroppedHannity And Guests Mock Lewandowski Accuser, Michelle Fields

That’s not that much, is it?

MEGYN KELLY: Yahoo click bait: Fox News Shows, Ranked: Who Is Highest-Rated Between Megyn Kelly, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly‬. SPOILER ALERT: 1). “The O’Reilly Factor”; 2) “The Kelly File”; 3) “Special Report with Bret Baier”; 4) “The Five”; 5) “On the Record with Greta Van Susteren”.

More proof that ratings have never equaled truth. For the rest of the list click HERE.

Still no word on whether Donald Trump will be a guest when Fox Bumps Up Megyn Kelly Primetime Special , this as Megyn Kelly’s FOX Show Gets a Name, New Airdate. SPOIILER ALERT: Megyn Kelly Presents. How original.

Meanwhile, here’s What Megyn Kelly ‘Forgot’ To Tell Viewers About The Guy Bringing The SCOTUS Lawsuit Against Obama’s Immigration Policies.

The next 3 stories are interconnected and it’s easier to click through than for me to summarize. However, it’s one of those Inside Media Bun Fights I love so much. Your mileage may vary.

Megyn Kelly Needs Joe Scarborough’s
Advice Like She Needs Toenail Fungus

Glenn Beck Throws So Much
Shade at Joe Scarborough in
Open Letter to Megyn Kelly

Megyn Kelly, Fox News
and the Curse of Me…

One of the biggest questions surrounding this special has been: Will Donald Trump participate in an interview? As many know, the popular Fox News anchor and the Republican presidential front-runner have had a combative relationship since the first GOP debate in August. Kelly met with Trump on Monday in hopes of clearing the air, making peace and, most likely, another invitation for an interview. We’ll find out soon if she was successful.
Kelly’s FOX special will be followed by the premiere of a new unscripted dating series called ‘Coupled’ from Mark Burnett.

We’re all living in a reality show. However, as Jimmy Kimmel [reports] On Megyn Kelly’s Meeting With Trump: They Agreed To Get Back To What’s Important – Making White People Angry. Watch:

THE GOOD & THE BAD: With Geraldo no longer on Dancing With The Stars, we have to get our Geraldo Gumor where we find it:


Howard Stern to Geraldo:
You Threatening Fox Co-Host Was
‘One of Your Greatest Moments’


Revisit ‘Al Capone’s Vaults’ with Geraldo
Rivera (join our live-tweeting tonight)


Read This: 30 years ago, Geraldo Rivera
opened Al Capone’s sadly empty vault


Fox News’ John Stossel
Has Lung Cancer Surgery

FFF wishes the no-shades-of-grey Libertarian a speedy recovery so he can Ayn Rand another day.

In the Fox Den:

Fox News Launches Longform
Unit With Michael Clemente;
Jay Wallace Upped to News

FOX BYTES: Andrea Tantaros: Atheist Scum Trying To Destroy National Day Of Prayer!Fox’s Shep Smith Gleefully Dishes Gossip About ABC’s Kelly & Michael Drama

Headly Westerfield has been writing Fox “News” criticism and commentary since 2009, first for NewsHounds, under the nom de troll Aunty Em Ericann, and later for the Not Now Silly Newsroom. Friday Fox Follies is his weekly aggregation of Fox tomfoolery and shenanigans.