Last updated on July 17th, 2023 at 07:01 pm
This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on Fox & Friends, a show that makes me LOL for its sheer foolishness at least 4 times a day. This HIGH-LARRY-US segment demonstrates the perils of live television.
Quick backstory: Those Foxy Friends were sending out Indy cars to pick up guests and drive them in to the show. That’s not the funny part. It was raining and these cars are open air. Wait! That’s not the funny part yet. The Indy car broke down on the way to pick up Karl Rove. And, even that’s not the funny part.
Here’s the funny part: Near the end of Laura Ingram’s regular weekly segment kissing Donald Trump’s ass, they decided to throw to Rove — who is decidedly in the #NeverTrump camp, even if he doesn’t fly the bumper sticker — to see if his car arrived yet. Now WATCH: Laura Ingraham and Karl Rove demonstrate depth of GOP divide with testy exchange about Fox News’ transportation arrangements [If you skip ahead to 7:45, you’ll miss most of Ingraham’s BS]:
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I’ve watched it dozens of times now. My favourite parts? First they are all laughing, joking around like this is just the usual tomfoolery on The Curvy Couch. However, these insults are real. The shivs are out. Doocy recognizes how strong was Ingram’s first volley. “BURN!” he tries to interject, but Rove is already fighting back. Then Kilmeade gets a few words in edgewise, “Oh my goodness. This is — this is — really gone off the rails.” Then Doocy looks like he wants to push that pen right through his brain before he says, “And, by the way, to the producers who thought the crosstalk between Laura and Karl was going to be hilarious? Let’s not do this again” Kilmeade adds, “It’s just a little too angry.” In the end Rove lamely defended himself by saying his family loves him.
Scene!
CUCKOLD O’REILLY: No, that’s not a new song by The Who. It’s our 2nd funniest story of the week: You can’t make this up. Yes, folks, America’s Best Husband Bill O’Reilly Sues Faithless Cheating Monster Of An Ex-Wife, while Ex-wife of Bill O’Reilly puts on a brave face as friends lash out at Fox News host for his ‘bitter attempt to wreck her happiness’ after he sues her for tricking him into financing ‘an existing extra-marital relationship’. This made headlines wherever good headlines are made. A sample:
Bill O’Reilly Plans to Sue Ex-Wife for $10 Million, Accuses Her of Cheating • Bill O’Reilly Suing Ex-Wife Maureen McPhilmy For $10 Million, Claims She Cheated • Bill O’Reilly filing $10 million lawsuit accusing ex-wife of infidelity • Bill O’Reilly is planning to sue ex-wife Maureen McPhilmy for $10M • Bill O’Reilly Plans to Sue Ex-Wife For $10 Million For ‘Misleading’ Him in Divorce • Bill O’Reilly Sues Ex-Wife For $10 Million, Accuses Her Of Extramarital Affair
Here’s the funny part: The Falafel King is asking the court for this lawsuit to be sealed because Big Tee Vee Star.
The not-so-quick backstory: Years ago Family Values O’Reilly paid off a multi-million dollar lawsuit in which a former-employee accused him of inappropriately sexual phone conversations (that “some people say” must have been recorded because they were quoted as if verbatim) in which he threatened to use both a loofah and a falafel (separately! Whaddaya think he is? Sick?) on her in the imaginary shower scene he was describing.
I’m sure that had nothing whatsoever to do with The Falafel King’s eventual divorce.
However, it was an ugly divorce by all accounts. Before it was granted Loofah Lad used his influence with the NYC police department to have his ex’s new boyfriend investigated. He also tried to have the church grant him an annulment at one point, as if they had never been married, making their children bastards, I guess. Speaking of those kids, a judge recently denied O’Reilly custody of them because, as they testified, he beat their mother.
Now he wants $10 million dollars from her because — SHOCKER!!! — he believes he was lied to during a divorce. TO BE FAIR: Who hasn’t been?
Wait! That’s the funny part. That and the fact that The Falafel King’s next book is going to be about a man he has grown to admire: King Henry VIII. It’s going to be called Killing Anne Boleyn.
I made that up. But the funny part is it could be true.
LOOFAH LEFTOVERS:
Homophobia
Bill O’Reilly rants: Letting trans people use the right bathroom is a push ‘to wipe out gender’ • O’Reilly: Equal Access To Bathrooms For Transgender People Is A “Violation” “Of Everybody’s Rights” • WATCH: Bill O’Reilly shouts down guest who refuses to believe transgender bathrooms are state-run conspiracy “to make us believe there is no difference in gender” • ‘I Can’t Even Finish One Sentence’: Powers Battles O’Reilly Over Trans Bathroom Rights • Bill O’Reilly: Conservatives Are Being “Oppressed And Marginalized” By Bathroom Bills
Racism:
Bill O’Reilly Uses Freddie Gray Officer Acquittal To Lecture African Americans (Again) • Bill O’Reilly Absurdly Imply Freddie Gray Is To Blame For His Own Death • O’Reilly Blames Freddie Gray’s Death On His “Lifestyle” • O’Reilly: “Black Lives Matter Is Killing Americans” • Bill O’Reilly: ‘#BlackLivesMatter Is Killing Americans’ • Bill O’Reilly Ties Black Lives Matter to Increase in Murder Rate • Bill O’Reilly Accuses Black Lives Matter Of ‘Killing Americans’ • WATCH: Guest takes Bill O’Reilly to task for blaming Black Lives Matter for “thousands more Americans being murdered” • Bill O’Reilly’s sick cop fetish: In Fox News land, white cops are always right, black men always to blame:
While Bill O’Reilly demonstrates a persistent yearning to lecture and comment on the “bad culture” and “life style” of “inner city” and other black communities, he chooses to be silent on the poor behavior and despicable culture and lifestyle that are common to many of America’s police departments.
Where is Bill O’Reilly’s condemnation of a police culture and lifestyle in cities such as Chicago where an internal report revealed that its police officers “have no regard for the sanctity of life when it comes to people of color?” And what of Baltimore’s problem plagued police department and its tradition of abuse and thuggery against the black community?
Has Bill O’Reilly demanded accountability for a police culture and lifestyle that encourages officers to choke black men to death while they cry “I can’t breathe!,” summarily execute 12-year-old children in the street, and kills black people for the “crime” of sleeping in their car?
Did Bill O’Reilly condemn a police culture and lifestyle where a New York police officer let an innocent man bleed to death while the former called his union representative for guidance about how best to explain the killing?
But, O’Reilly is such a supporter of the PoPo, he’ll have one investigated for dating — and later marrying — his ex-wife.
Defending Trump:
WATCH: Bill O’Reilly begs Hillary Clinton to attend Fox debate and “stick up for capitalism” against Bernie Sanders • O’Reilly Cautions Trump Against ‘Tawdry’ Attacks on Clintons: ‘Not Sure It’s a Good • Bill O’Reilly confronts Donald Trump over Bill Clinton attacks: ‘I’m not sure that’s a good idea’ • Trump Defends Aggressive Tack Against Clintons — ‘I Have to Fight Back the Way I Have to Fight Back’ • Trump Just Blasted the VP Candidate Bill O’Reilly Claimed Was the ‘Only Choice’ For Him to Win
Tune in next week when we’ll, no doubt, have more loofah laffs at the poor cuckold’s expense.
MEGYN KELLY PRESENTS PABLUM: One of the best articles FFF read this week was How Megyn Kelly’s Softball Interview With Trump Signaled Fox News’ Complete Surrender:
While Kelly huddles with her manager and agent and tries to figure out what went wrong after a long-running media love fest, the larger story that’s come into focus is how Fox News, led by Kelly’s genuflection to Trump, has signaled its institutional surrender to the presumptive GOP nominee. Fox News has been bullied and beaten into submission by a Republican front-runner who had the audacity to pick a fight with Roger Ailes and the mass media mouthpiece of the Republican Party.
Sure, holdouts like Charles Krauthammer, Stephen Hayes and Greg Gutfeld remain staples on the Fox News lineup; holdouts who have dismissed Trump as a conservative joke for months. But their numbers, and certainly their sway, seem to be shrinking as the cable channel clumsily and belatedly maneuvers itself into its traditional campaign role: a cheerleader for, and ferocious defender of, the RNC.
Like much of the Republican Party, as well as large portions of the conservative movement, Fox News is fumbling its way onto the “acceptance” mark as it comes to the final stages of its weird grieving process over the Trump nomination. Eight in 10 Republican voters now want party leaders to rally behind Trump, according to the latest New York Times/CBS poll.
Here’s the funny part: Fox News CEO Roger Ailes reportedly “snickering” with glee over failure of Megyn Kelly’s Trump special
Also worth reading: Megyn Kelly’s Guide to Surrendering to Donald Trump • CNN Panel Criticizes Megyn Kelly’s “Softball” Trump Interview: “She Didn’t Press Him” • Megyn Kelly waves a white flag: Fox News completely belongs to Donald Trump now
Despite her epic Trump stumble, here’s How Megyn Kelly Could Become the Most Powerful Woman in TV News because the whole world wants to know What’s Next for Megyn Kelly? Which might explain why this newspaper is Obsessed Much? WaPo Now Up To 10 Different Post-Mortems of Megyn Kelly Fox Special.
And, just to remind you, her show demonstrates she has her own issues with race:
Megyn Kelly can’t handle the truth, cuts off Black Lives Matter’s DeRay Mckesson on the death of Freddie Gray • Megyn Kelly Confronts DeRay: ‘Danger to the Community If We Start Locking Up Cops’ • Alan Dershowitz scolds Black Lives Matter for “endangering the fairness of our legal system”
However, I suspect Little Miss White Privilege will continue to fall up.
FREDDIE GRAY VERDICT: There’s no funny part to this. Here’s how Fox “News” reported in the aftermath of the Freddie Gray NOT GUILTY verdict:
Fox Host Accuses Prosecutor In Freddie
Gray Death Of “A Rush To The Spotlight”
Fox Guest: Prosecutor In Freddie Gray Death
Prosecuted Police Officers “For Political Reasons”
Fox News legal analyst: “Shame on” Baltimore
prosecutor for seeking justice for Freddie Gray
However, it was surprising this truth was broadcast at all:
Freddie Gray Family Attorney to Greta:
Fox’s ‘Approach to the Black Community Is Racist’
There’s nothing funny about how Fox “News” covers stories that are, at the core, about Race.
WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE: Usually Brain Brian Kilmeade can be trusted to say something extremely stupid or offensive or both. This week, while he didn’t disappoint in that regard . . .
Brian Kilmeade Validates Government
Sponsored Transphobia – Again!
Fox’s Kilmeade: “I Really Believe We’ve Done
More For Victoria’s Secret Models Than Anyone Else”
Fox Host Wonders If Abuse Suffered By
Transgender Detainees Is Even Worth Avoiding
. . . he also managed to blow up Donald Trump’s latest attack on Hillary Clinton by accidentally blurting out the truth:
Fox Host Contradicts NRA Lie
Hyped By Fox, Admits Clinton
Won’t Abolish Second Amendment
Fox and Friends admits Hillary Clinton
won’t actually take your guns away
That’s the funny part.
More funny parts?
Fox & Friends Airs Wrong
Picture, Misidentifies A Woman
Of Color Senate Candidate
Watch Fox & Friends guest flip out over Hillary
Clinton’s criticism of Donald Trump’s gun policy
Fox & Friends misidentifies Hispanic woman
Senate candidate as black woman Senate candidate
That’s why they make me laugh. Every! Single!! Day!!!
THE TRUMP DUMP: Fox “News” will say anything to defend and/or support the GOP Strongman. Here’s this week’s proof:
Trump conquers Fox: The conservative network will try to elect the monster it helped create • When Donald Trump calls, TV still answers • Donald Trump Secures GOP Nomination – And Fox Has Two Prime Time Specials About Him Ready • See the Fox News Graphic Intro About the Trump Family With Eerie North Korea Undertones • Ex-Mexican President Calls Out Fox News: They’re ‘Trying to Make’ Trump President • Fox News’ Kimberly Guilfoyle: Trump calling Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas is quite complimentary when you think about it” • Fox News defended Donald Trump’s treatment of women 10 times in one day • Watch A Fox Host Criticize Sub Prime Loans, Then Defend Trump Selling Sub Prime Loans In The Same Segment • #NeverTrump GOPer Battles Bolling: You Fox Guys Behind Trump Are the Establishment Now • On Fox, Heritage Action CEO Praises List Of Trump’s Potential SCOTUS Nominees That Heritage Helped Write • Former Fox Contributor Slams News Networks For Prioritizing Entertainment Over Vetting Trump’s Record • The Young Turks Discuss The Fox-Newsification Of Donald Trump Supporters • B-List Celebrities For Trump: Robert Davi’s Persian Hairdresser Edition • Media Blasts Greta Van Susteren’s ‘Meet The Trumps’ Special • Media Figures Mock Greta Van Susteren’s Hour-Long Trump Infomercial
Tune in next week when they’ll find new ways to defend the indefensible.
CLINTON CONTEST: FFF is still looking for the first positive Hillary Clinton story on the Fox “News” Channel. This week Fox Hosts Author Of Error-Filled Book Clinton Cash To Recycle Debunked Smears About Hillary Clinton in order to promote the new movie. Fox “News” has provided a lot of free publicity for this piece of fiction as the Google search FOX NEWS CLINTON CASH attests. Also this week:
Fox Takes Clinton Out Of Context In Effort To
Distract From Trump’s Hope For Housing Crisis
Fox Attacks Hillary Clinton For
Turning Down Fox News Debate
Bill O’Reilly: “Mrs. Clinton Should
Answer Questions From People Like Me”
With no winner this week, we’ll add more Clinton Cash to the super duper prize wheel for next week.
FOX BYTES: Fox News-style sociology: “There is a Ferguson effect because police officers say there is one — they’re afraid of everyone” • Fox News Channel’s Jesse Watters Thinks the Climate Crisis Isn’t Real Because Spring in New York Has Been ‘Freezing’ • Fox’s Keith Ablow Slams Obama’s “Agenda” For Millennials Living With Parents • Texas Attorney General tells Fox & Friends that transgender “Bathroom Battle” is “about men deciding to be women and switching back the next day” • Fox News Gripes About Overtime Pay Expansion • Ben Stein Calls Obama “A Super Narcissist” For Staying In D.C. After Presidency • Kyle More Cast As John Hinckley Jr. In Adaptation Of Bill O’Reilly’s ‘Killing Reagan’ For NatGeo • Fox’s Krauthammer: “You Can’t Try” Guantanamo Detainees “Because You Might Actually Have To Acquit Them” • Fox’s John Roberts Highlights Roger Stone’s Statement That Trump Paid Kathleen Willey So She Could Attack Clintons
Headly Westerfield has been writing Fox “News” snark and criticism for 7 years. He’s Head Writer at the Not Now Silly Newsroom, where he writes about race relations, among other things.
