Pastors Don’t Put Lipstick on a Pig – They Place a Crown On its Head

Donald Trump and Mike Pence attended the Midwest Vision and Values Pastors Leadership Conference in Cleveland, Ohio, an event hosted by Pastor Frank Amedia, who claims he has power over tsunamis.

As reported here, among those attending were Michael Cohen, who heads Trump’s bizarrely-named “National Diversity Coalition,” and who said last year that spousal rape doesn’t exist.

The conclusion of this bizarre gathering of people with really strange ideas, is that Trump is under “concentrated Satanic attack.” Well, it’s good to know Satan isn’t diffusely attacking Donald Trump.

And how do they know this? Because “if you choose to run for president, there’s going to be a concentrated Satanic attack against you.” Got that?

As an aside, unsurprisingly, Satanically-directed attacks of any kind are not covered in the purely secular United States Constitution. But then again, neither is God.

In the secular United States Constitution, the people elected their president. He is not chosen by a group of pastors. Or by God.

Speaking of which, Pastor Darrell Scott, who apparently loves ambiguity as much as he loves Trump, revealed the words of a nationally known preacher whom he declined to name:

“He said there’s going to be a demon, principalities and powers, that are going to war against you on a level that you’ve never seen before and I’m watching it every day.”

Watch courtesy of Right Wing Watch:

Actually, what he’s watching is Trump lie through his teeth at a rate previously unknown to human history, and the predictable response from people who value actual facts.

Belinda Scott prayed over Trump, saying, “God we ask you right now that Your choice is this choice.” Surprisingly, Trump didn’t start to sizzle and burn at that point, which might tell you something about the whole proceeding.

“God, I ask that you would touch this man, Donald J. Trump. Give him the anointing to lead this nation.”

In other words, she asked God to make Donald Trump the messiah. That’s what messiah means, you know: “anointed one.” That would put Trump right up there with such biblical figures as Jesus and Moses.

In fact, it was Moses to whom Boxing promoter Don King compared Trump when he introduced the GOP nominee, saying that, like Moses, it is Trump “who will lead us to the Promised Land.”

He mixed metaphors (he’s a boxing promoter, after all) a bit by also calling Trump a “gladiator,” which means “man of the sword” (the Roman sword was the “gladius”).

King was more right than he knows, as the gladiator did what he did for entertainment. And for riches and fame, of course. And to get laid. Gladiators were rock stars.

Another aside: One very influential Roman, Marcus Tullius Cicero, had something to say on the subject that might have some relevance here:

“Gladiators are either foredoomed men or barbarians.”

According to King, who used the “N-word” in his introduction, both blacks and women should fall over themselves in a rush to the polls to cast a vote for Trump:

“Those are the left-outs. Donald Trump says no. We’re going back to inclusiveness; everybody counts. So that’s why when I see them try to ridiculize him or to try to ostracize and pervert—I want you to understand, every white woman should cast their vote for Donald Trump, not for Donald Trump the man but to knock out the system to help him to get their rights and be able to deal with it.”

Everybody counts – except for those who don’t. Like Muslims. Like Hispanics. Like blacks. Like women. And for many of his supporters, Jews. And of course, anyone who doesn’t pass an ideological purity test. That’s some inclusiveness.

I don’t even know what to make of King’s assertion that Trump is a “doctor of humanness.” Not even being a boxing promoter excuses that.

As far as is known, Trump will be the first messiah to refuse to release his medical info. Also the first messiah to have business dealings with foreign states which compromise the national security interests of his own country.

That’s right. Jesus had no business dealings with Rome. No investments with Parthia or Nubia or Dacia or tribal leaders north of the Danube.

And all the evidence is that Jesus liked and respected women. He never called them Fat. Pig. Dog. Slob. Disgusting animal.

Significantly, Jesus also said rich guys like Donald Trump stand as much chance of entering the kingdom of God as a camel does getting through the eye of a needle. He said rich men like Trump have had their reward.

And you can bet, if Jesus had a twitter account, it would not look like Donald Trump’s.

This meeting was as bizarre a convocation as any known to history, the disreputable hailing the disreputable, and defending the indefensible by cloaking hate in false sanctity.

Far from putting lipstick on a pig, this group placed a crown on its head.