Attacking Syria Was the Gateway Sexual Activity Republicans Usually Warn You About

Remember those heady summer days of August in 2013 when Donald Trump was attacking President Obama over Syria, warning him not to intervene, that if he did, bad things would happen? All in caps he told Obama, “IF YOU DO MANY VERY BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN.”

Turns out he was right. Attacking Syria with cruise missiles led to MOAB being dropped on Afghanistan and even now Donald Trump is planning a preemptive strike on North Korea. Bad things are indeed happening. Our very own incompetent and at the same time self-fulfilling prophet of doom.

Now that it is 2016 and Donald Trump is president (it’s still hard to string those words together), we have intervened in Syria and Republicans in Congress have not only not been consulted, but they don’t care that they have not been consulted. And it’s not just Republicans in Congress, but Republicans Period:

There is no escaping the conclusion that Donald Trump’s missile attack on Syria turns out to have been what Republicans like to warn us about when it comes to things like sex and drugs: a “gateway” sexual activity as when fondling a breast (or even holds hands *gasp!*) leads to, yes, intercourse.

Trump enjoyed the experience of attacking Syria with cruise missiles, and why not? It turned a profit; it was a great distraction from investigations into his collusion with Russia, and the praise he got from Congress really stroked his ego to a fever pitch.

So much so that he dropped the “mother of all bombs” on Afghanistan, the biggest, most powerful bomb we could drop without it being a nuke. Can you imagine if Barack Obama had dropped this bomb? You’d be hearing from congressional Republicans then, let me tell you.

Trump can distract the news media and Congress; he can even distract the public which suddenly has the end of the world to contemplate (which would certainly resolve the health care debate for all time), but the investigative net is moving inexorably toward its target.

Which brought to mind one of Trump’s 2013 tweets, which like so many of his old tweets seem oddly prescient, if not the way he intended, and have therefore come back to haunt him:

As former NSA analyst, John Schindler put it, kinda-sorta reassuringly,

And this is exactly why Democrats were worried about Donald Trump. For him, dropping a bomb on Afghanistan was a brazen $16 million money shot right in the world’s face. And he’s not done.

Republicans are outraged when things like this happen with sex and drugs. For some odd reason, they don’t care when firing cruise missiles leads to dropping the biggest bomb we own on an inconsequential target for no apparent reason at all.

This is almost as if Donald Trump is a child who just discovered his penis and realized he had to do something with it, NOW! The problem for the world is that it isn’t his penis he has discovered, but real power.

And as you can see from the polling, conservatives, far from reacting with outrage, have instead laid back and lit up in the post-coital afterglow even as Trump turns his roving eye to North Korea.

Republicans don’t want anyone to even talk about gateway sexual activity for fear it will happen.

But while our worst fears about Trump have become realized, they’re more than happy to help Trump stroke his…ego.