Trump Declares Himself The Most Innocent Man To Be President Ever

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At a Labor Day press conference, Trump declared himself to be the most innocent and honorable man ever to be president.

Trump said:

They have been looking at me for four years. They found nothing. Four years. Think of it, for four years from the day I came down the escalator, I’ve been under investigation by sleaze. Nay found nothing. They found nothing. A friend of mine say you have to be the most innocent honorable man ever to hold the office of president. Think of it. They spent just Mueller alone spent, I guess, the real number turned out be 48 million dollars. Whatever it was, many millions of dollars.

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They had 18 angry Democrats looking. They had FBI agents all over the place. They have no collusion. Friends of mine have said you’ve got to be the most innocent guy ever to hold this office. There’s a lot of truth to that.

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Trump is so honorable that he cheated on his third wife with an adult film star and then illegally paid her hush money to hide it during the 2016 campaign. This “innocent” man has been accused by dozens of women of everything from sexual harassment to rape.

None of these friends that Trump loves to quote ever have names. Trump spent decades pretending to be his own press secretary John Barron, so it is extremely likely that these friends that Trump referred to don’t exist.

The only real friend that Donald Trump has is Donald Trump, and he needs a quote from a friend about how innocent and great he is, he just looks in the mirror and his best buddy is staring right back at him.

Trump isn’t innocent or honorable, but he is well on his way to being voted out of the White House in November.

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