Here Are Colin Jost’s Five Best Jokes At The White House Correspondents Dinner

Last updated on April 29th, 2024 at 01:37 pm

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Colin Jost brought the jokes, but he also closed with a touching and serious moment at the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Here Are The Best Jokes From Colin Jost

Video of Jost:

1). The Trump Allegation That Biden Is On Drugs

I love being in Washington. Last time I was in Washington, D.C. I left my cocaine at the white house. Luckily the president was able to put it to good use for his State of the Union. I’m kidding. Of course, the President does not call it cocaine. He calls it high-speed rails. By the way, can you blame the guy for turning to cocaine? You must be exhausted orchestrating four separate trials against rivals, reading the super bowl and gearing up to steal a second election.

2). Biden Is Both Senile And A Criminal Mastermind

I love that Trump’s two attacks on President Biden is that he is a senile old man and a criminal mastermind. I think you gotta pick one. Personally, I don’t know any criminal mastermind who buy ice cream.

3). The Election Makes No Sense

Let me see if I can summarize where this race stands at this moment. The Republican candidate for president owes half a billion in fines for bank fraud and is currently spending his days farting himself awake during a porn star hush money trial and the race is tied? The race is tied. Nothing makes sense anymore. The candidate who was a famous New York City playboy took abortion rights away and the guy who is trying to give you your abortion rights back is an 80-year-old catholic. How does that make sense?

4). The RFK Jr. Joke

President Biden, isn’t it crazy that he is only our second catholic president? In just a few short months, we will have our third in RFK Jr. I am kidding. Like his vaccine card says, he does not have a shot.

5). Colin Jost’s Grandfather, Joe Biden, and Decency

I swear, Mr. President, this is not an age comparison. You remind me of him. Some of your best qualities remind me of him. I will say he was 95 and he was still great at stairs. I think it is because he did not try to run up them.

But the reason that I bring up my grandfather and I don’t know if you know but Staten Island’s firefighters are not normally your demographic. Staten Island voted about 70 percent for Trump and the other 30% was for Giuliani. Staten Island also sided with the British during the Revolutionary War. So we are not always on the right side of history. You remember.

My grandfather, a Staten Island firefighter, voted for you, Mr. President. He voted for you in the last election that he ever voted in. I am sure someone else will vote twice in this election using his name, but that is just how the Democratic machine works. He voted for you and the reason that he voted for you is because you are a decent man.

My grandpa voted for decency and decency is why we are all here tonight. Decency is how we are all able to be here tonight. Decency is how we are able to make jokes about each other and one of us does not go to prison.

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Jason Easley

Jason is the managing editor. He is also a White House Press Pool and a Congressional correspondent for PoliticusUSA. Jason has a Bachelor’s Degree in Political Science. His graduate work focused on public policy, with a specialization in social reform movements.

Awards and  Professional Memberships

Member of the Society of Professional Journalists and The American Political Science Association