Cantor Blames Liberals for Birthers; Republican Clown Show Continues

Last updated on April 2nd, 2010 at 11:07 pm

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Oh, what was I thinking? I thought we were in the clear. Sailin’ off to the start of a lovely weekend; all we had to worry about was the government knocking on our door to “put us out to pasture”, doom, gloom and the general terror of a man in office whose skin may not be bleached white.

That’s enough fright for a Republican Friday Night, no?

Just as I was tryin’ to ignore the fact that Mike Pence (as in, top GOP Rep. Mike Pence – yes, you and I pay for his health care) went on national TV and exaggerated the CBO budget for public health care by a mere….

500 billion dollars

(give or take a few billion) — before you get all outraged, evil liberals, you know Republicans aren’t good at math, so you can’t really blame him. Just like you can’t blame them for their general incompetence at governing. They’re for SMALLL government! The fact that they’re even showing up is a blessing, or at least a surprise (Sarah Palin notwithstanding). They sure run for a lot of offices, for folks who don’t believe in government. But I’ll leave that discussion for the Lord’s day, as I’ve a sneaking suspicion that only She can explain this particular Republican peccadillo.

Anyhoo, for Pence, 540 billion and 1 trillion are the same, just rounded up. Rounding up. Remember rounding up? That’s like, past the decimal point, I’ve got 1.56 somethings, so I’ll round it up to 1.6. Which is sort of like calling 540 billion 1 trillion…but different.

I guess when you aren’t really on a budget of any kind, numbers shunmbers. Right? Just ask John McCain. Remember when he didn’t know the price of a gallon of milk? Like, within the tens of dollars? Out of touch. Slightly. In an amusingly cute clownish kinda way.

The good news is that you never know when Pence’s numbers might just add up! Eventually, of course, he’ll be right about something. And since we pay him good money to exaggerate those numbers, I’ve got high expectations that he’ll be accurate sooner rather than later. Just not today.

So, I was still breathing normally, ignoring Pence and his claims of many CBO numbers – none of them real – when BAM! Cantor dipped his toes in the Republican clown pool, naughty minx that he is. Can’t we have a day? Just one day that isn’t full of Poutrageous Bull Pucky?

Aw, Jeeze. Here it is:

Canter blames the Liberal Media for the Birthers.

“Asked for Cantor’s views on birtherism, his spokesman, Brad Dayspring, emailed me this:

“Mr. Cantor doesn’t question the President’s citizenship, but he has serious questions about the President’s push for government controlled healthcare, taxes on small business job creators, and a huge energy tax on middle class families. He finds it ironic that those most eager to talk about the President’s citizenship are in fact some of his biggest cheerleaders–whether it’s Chris Matthews or others on MSNBC, the Huffington Post, or camera toting liberal bloggers chasing people through the streets of Washington.””

http://theplumline.whorunsgov.com/president-obama/eric-cantor-rips-chris-matthews-msnbc-huffpo-liberal-bloggers-for-pushing-birther-story/

So, there you have it. It’s the evil liberals’ fault that the birthers have made such a fuss. It certainly had nothing to do with the many Republican senators who refused to sign a bill celebrating HI as a state, which just so happened to mention that President Obama was born there. Naw. Republicans are really mad at HI and just don’t want to acknowledge the state. Just cuz. Stop asking questions.

It had nothing to do with Rush Limbaugh or the many law suits or the Republican elected officials going on national TV to declare themselves “not sure” if Obama was born in the USA.

And it most certainly had nothing to do with President Obama’s skin color or his middle name! You know what happens to evil liberals who dare suggest such things?

Well, we’ll have to go ask a white male Republican, because they’re the only people whose judgment isn’t colored by their life experiences. Privilege does that to a guy, apparently.

If you had any, you’d know that. And you wouldn’t be asking petty questions about who started the birther thing. You’d take Cantor’s word for it. He knows.

He’s in charge. And I’m sure Mike Pence can help Cantor explain it all to us lowly little people whose life experiences make our judgment unreliably subject to things like empathy (shudder!). Don’t you feel better now?

Just don’t answer your door this weekend. Might be the gubbmint comin’ to getcha’.

Sarah Jones

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Sarah has been credentialed to cover President Barack Obama, then VP Joe Biden, 2016 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and exclusively interviewed Speaker Nancy Pelosi multiple times and exclusively covered her first home appearance after the first impeachment of then President Donald Trump.

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