Why Mitt Romney Must Embrace His Inner Newt

I understand the Newt’s days as a serious candidate might be numbered now that he left the state of South Carolina, where the radical conservatives judge all but forgive only their own, but I have some free campaign advice for Mitt Romney: Talk about Newt’s marital indiscretions as much as you can for as long as you can.

Why? Because that’s what the nation’s leading martial infidelity hypocrite Newt Gingrich would do.

In the 1990s, Gingrich said, “I will never again, as long as I am speaker, make a speech without commenting on this topic,” with the topic, of course, being the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.

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The quote is included in a 1998 Washington Post article that  gives details about the Gingrich-led Republican multi-million dollar ad campaign highlighting the President Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky scandal.

Perhaps Romney should follow Gingrich’s lead: Talk about Gingrich’s affairs in the 90s, one of which was occurring while he was grandstanding about impeaching Clinton for an extra-martial affair. That type of hypocrisy alone should eliminate you from being a serious candidate for PTA president, let alone U.S. President, but I digress.

Maybe Romney should talk about how Newt’s wife claims that good ol’ boy Newt was interested in an open marriage rather than one of traditional American values.

Gingrich’s obsession with the sex lives of others aside, there’s another reason for my recommending that Romney talk about Gingrich’s sex life for as long as he can: It won’t help Romney.

Gingrich abandoned his plan in the ’90s, not because of blatant hypocrisy in broad daylight but because polls indicated that no one cared about Clinton’s sex life. I’m sure that polls would show the same thing about Gingrich, at least outside of a few unforgiving bedroom-obsessed ultra-conservatives–and those of us who wonder why so many women find Gingrich irresistible. My theory is that Newt goes through AXE products by the gallon.

People care about where the jobs are coming from. Oh, wait–that’s not a good topic for “corporations are people” Romney.

People care about whether a candidate has the compassion and life experience to be able to empathize and then deal with the problems of the average person. Oh, wait–that’s not a good topic for Romney, either.

People care about whether they are going to be able to afford healthcare. Oh, wait–that’ not a good topic for Romney. I guess, technically, it still could be since his healthcare plan is so similar to President Obama’s, but it’s not now that he has vowed to repeal it.

People care about whether a candidate is consistent and trustworthy or whether he “flip-flops” at every turn.

Well, on second thought, maybe Romney should keep talking about Gingrich’s indiscretions. That’s about all he has.