Ann Romney Orders Hispanics To Stop Being Biased and Vote For Mitt

Citing her relationship to immigrants because of her grandfather being a Welsh coal miner – never mind that she grew up in what was the second richest county in America and attended a posh prep school and never had to worry about spending money until the dog days of living off of Mitt’s father’s modern day valued almost $400,000 in stocks — Ann Romney lectured Hispanics today that they should focus on issues this time around (as if they have been ignoring issues up until Ann arrived to show them the way?).

Here’s how Ann Romney wins the hearts and minds of those silly people who don’t look at issues before they vote (women and Hispanics) (emphasis mine):

Romney said her “importance in speaking out is making sure that those coalitions,” referring to women and Hispanic voters, “that would naturally be voting for another party wake up and say, You’d better really look at the issues this time.

You’d better really look at your future and figure out who’s going to be the guy that’s going to make it better for you and your children, and there is only one answer,” Mrs. Romney said, giving a harsher pitch than we usually hear from the woman who wants to be the next first lady.

It really is a message that would resonate well if they could just get past some of their biases that have been there from the Democratic machines that have made us look like we don’t care about this community,” Romney said. “And that is not true. We very much care about you and your families and the opportunities that are there for you and your families.”

Take that. If the Democratic Machine hadn’t been fooling you idiots, you wouldn’t have been voting Democratic. Of course, Ann can’t be upset with you for being easily fooled, but she is here to put you right if only you would pay attention.

Mrs. Romney’s message warns us that we had better get with it and really look at our future, and we better vote for the man who can really take us there (oddly evoking a stinging lecture I received from a nun in third grade at Catholic school). How do we know who is going to take us there? Ann Romney TOLD us so. DOH. You People and your questions.

So, Mrs. Romney is telling Hispanics and women not to look at the issues they are looking at — like their medical rights, the Dream Act, a little common courtesy and respect, but rather to focus on the issues that Mrs. Romney says matter. And no, asking to see her tax returns is so not on that list.

You People better “wake up.” Capiche?

Never mind that Mitt Romney wants to raise your taxes and take away your rights over your body and have y’all self-deport after his party Paper Pleases up your freedom. FOCUS on the issues that MATTER — like lowering Mitt Romney’s tax base, giving more to corporations and turning over your bodies to the Republican Party.

The Queen has spoken. Now You People don’t need to bother educating yourselves about the issues, because if you know what’s best for you, you’ll let Ann tell you how to vote.

After all, she went to the fancy prep school and she knows best. Not that she’s above you or anything, I mean, her grandfather was a Welch coal miner which is exactly like being treated as a hostile enemy of America by an entire party, only worse because it happened to someone Ann is related to. Plus, the suffering!

“Another son came along 18 months later, although we waited four years to have the third, because Mitt was still in school and we had no income except the stock we were chipping away at. We were living on the edge, not entertaining. No, I did not work. Mitt thought it was important for me to stay home with the children, and I was delighted.”

See? Mrs. Romney knows living on the edge, with nothing but stock dividends.

Luckily by the time Mrs. Romney was born into the tony suburb of Bloomfield Hills and happily ensconced at Kingswood where she could afford to ignore her studies and instead play tennis and dream about her marriage to the Governor’s son, any third-generational incidental brushes with immigrant status were washed away with money. Still, she can relate to your pain because of the time she and Mitt had to stop entertaining when they were at university; Mitt’s dad’s stocks only went so far.

She gets you! Because:

“They were not easy years. You have to understand, I was raised in a lovely neighborhood, as was Mitt, and at BYU, we moved into a $62-a-month apartment with a cement floor and lived there two years as students with no income… Neither one of us had a job, because Mitt had enough of an investment from stock that we could sell off a little at a time.”

She knows suffering, and it’s no excuse for you silly people to not look at the right issues.

You naughty, truant Peoples best get it right this time.

Additional Sources: Atlantic Wire, quote from Boston Globe 1994 Ann Romney interview

Updated: 5:08 PM to correct typo re: Welsh

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