Categories: Featured News

The Role of Sarah Palin Will Now Be Played By Herman Cain On Fox News

Death panels have been replaced by 9-9-9 as Herman Cain will be taking over Sarah Palin’s role as the voice of crazy on Fox News.

It appears that those who assumed Scott Brown was Sarah Palin’s replacement had it all wrong. Fox News announced today that Herman Cain has joined the network as a contributor. Fox News VP Bill Shine actually said with straight face that, “Cain’s impressive resume makes him a valuable addition to the FOX News and FOX Business lineup. As a political expert with business savvy, he brings an important voice to the nation’s debates.” Cain topped Shine by adding, “I’m excited about joining the FOX family as a contributor because it is an opportunity to be one more voice for intelligent thinking in America.”

Calling Herman Cain a political expert is both a crime against politics and broadcasting. This is also the same network that consistently referred to Sarah Palin as an energy expert despite the fact that her knowledge of energy policy is limited to knowing how to flip a light switch.

The only person that Fox could have hired with a lighter resume than Sarah Palin was Herman Cain. The former 2012 Republican presidential candidate is most famous for somehow enjoying a short stint as the front runner for the nomination despite the fact that he more allegations of sexual harassment against him (4) than ideas in his campaign (1). Fox News has gotten in step with the times by swapping Palin’s death panels and insane rants for Cain’s 9-9-9 pizza deal/flat tax and insane rants.

Since dropping out of the Republican presidential race, because sexual harassment pandas can’t be president, Cain is most famous for allowing Stephen Colbert to run under his name in the South Carolina Republican presidential primary. (Colbert as Cain finished fifth.)

The irony here is that Fox is likely paying Cain and Brown less combined than they paid Sarah Palin per year.

Since leaving the presidential race Cain has unsuccessfully tried to tap into the right wing media moneymaking scheme, but that will all change now that he is on Fox News. Cain will have a direct pipeline to conservative wallets through Fox. He can now shill his website and his books. The bargain bin section of the bookstore that once belonged to Sarah Palin will now be owned by Herman Cain.

For all practical purposes, the Fox News role of Sarah Palin will now be played by Herman Cain.

Recent Posts

Justice Comes To Mar-a-Lago As Trump Indicted On 7 Counts

CNN is reporting that former president Donald Trump has been indicted on seven federal counts…

18 mins ago

One Of Jim Jordan’s Fake Whistleblowers Has Been Referred To Merrick Garland For Lying To Congress

Garret O’Boyle testified as one of Jim Jordan's fake whistleblowers, but now he has been…

3 hours ago

Biden Calls BS On House GOP Bribery Allegation

President Biden responded to the House Republican claims that he took a bribe by calling…

4 hours ago

GOP Scam Crumbles As FBI Doc Does Not Say Biden Received A Bribe

The FBI document that House Oversight Committee Republicans viewed in the SCIF does not say…

5 hours ago

Marjorie Taylor Greene Embarrasses Herself By Claiming Biden Took A Bribe But The Proof Is Missing

After reviewing an FBI document, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) claimed that President Biden took…

6 hours ago

Bipartisan Senate Moves To Hit Putin In The Wallet By Transferring Seized Russian Assets To Ukraine

The bipartisan legislation would authorize the DOJ to expand its ability to seize Russian assets…

7 hours ago