Mitch McConnell Tries To Save His Senate Seat By Waving a Rifle Around at CPAC

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It wasn’t too long ago that children were brutally mass murdered in Newtown, but that doesn’t stop Republicans and the NRA from displaying their callous, shallow, misguided belief that a gun makes a man.

It’s CPAC 2014.

So it should come as no surprise that Republican Mitch McConnell (R-KY) entered the stage holding a rifle over his head to cheers. After all, the Senate Minority Leader is pretty desperate to turn on the rabid Republican base, who aren’t very impressed with him. What better way to do it than to carry an image of alleged power like a gun, which represents to the little ones who have a lot to prove the power to murder another living creature? So hot, amiright? This moment was captured by Politico’s Director of Photography, M. Scott Mahaskey, in the above image.

Watch McConnell give the gun to the Republican Senator from Oklahoma, Tom Coburn, here if you have not eaten yet, or have been hard wired to watch old white men who are so unaware that they have no idea how Freudian trading a rifle to commemorate the end of one’s career appears:

Trying too hard (just a hint, but responsible gun owners are not so immature that they think their gun proves something):

We are to believe this is not a hopeful phallic symbol of potency and relevancy being passed from one dinosaur to another, but rather a lifetime achievement award. Jeff Zeleny, ABC News Senior Washington Correspondent, explained that the gun is a lifetime achievement award from the NRA that McConnell presented to Coburn:

The gun McConnell presented to Coburn? A lifetime achievement award from the NRA. Coburn is retiring at the end of the year.

— Jeff Zeleny (@jeffzeleny) March 6, 2014

McConnell spent his speech attacking Democrats to no avail. McConnell chanted the obligatory conservative conspiracy theories about the IRS and Benghazi, but even these fail safes didn’t arouse for him any conservative love. McConnell finally tapped into the conservative crowd’s sweet spot with some blind, stupid Obama hate, saying Obama is “treating our Constitution worse than a place mat at dinner.” This from a leader of the party that enabled W, speaking behind an evil teleprompter no less, about our constitutional lawyer president. But reality has no place at CPAC.

If you claim Obama is treating the Constitution like a place mat with a gun over your head whilst cheering the death of a gay soldier, you win at CPAC. Bonus points for ordering a woman to get you a beer while you’re doing it, and explaining that the war on women is all in her pretty head.

Zeleny also shared McConnell’s strategy over avoiding the income inequality debate:

Trying to reframe the debate over income inequality, McConnell says of Democrats: "They've done next to nothing for the little guy."

— Jeff Zeleny (@jeffzeleny) March 6, 2014

I suppose trying to raise the minimum wage and providing affordable access to healthcare insurance might be seen as “nothing” by someone who is as wealthy and out of touch as Mitch McConnell. But then, that’s not too comforting, especially given his failure to come up with a jobs plan in the last 30 years (no, that’s not a typo).

But you are to forget all of that real policy stuff that impacts you and yours, and focus on the GUN. THE GUN.

Yes, it’s CPAC 2014 – the convention of Neanderthals for “freedom”, also known as the clever manipulations of the corporate gun lobby playing on the festering feelings of disempowerment that permeate the lower classes during a recession. Well done, corporate masters and puppets.

“If I’m given the opportunity to lead the U.S. Senate next year, I won’t let you down,” Mitch McConnell said on stage. And it makes sense if you realized to whom he was directing this promise. Hello, NRA, Koch Brothers, et al.

Image: Politico’s Director of Photography, M. Scott Mahaskey

Sarah Jones

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