Ivana Trump Tries to Fix The Donald’s Problems with Women and Only Makes It Worse

Last updated on July 17th, 2023 at 06:53 pm

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Guys, I know you’re all “wtf” with Donald Trump’s punishing women statement, because duh, Republicans know better than to say that stuff so bluntly even though they are already punishing women for alleged abortions all over the country, but his ex-wife Ivana Trump informed The New York Post that Donald loves women so please, give it a rest. Also, he may or may not be a feminist, depending on the minute you ask.

I hope you all feel duly shamed now.

Let’s start off with the fact that Ivana is a “self-proclaimed” conservative, as noted by the Post writer Dana Schuster. Now let’s move along to the rape accusation Ivana made against her ex-husband during their divorce. The one she hurriedly took back when the Daily Beast took her at her word. That was just lawyer stuff for negotiating, because The Donald knows how to deal, she explained to the Post. So forget the hair pulling and the nasty accusations about scalping while raping his wife. The Donald loves women. He loves them so much.

Ivana explained to Schuster that Donald has no problem with women! He loves women! He loves women so much as sexual objects, for example, that this led to the end of their marriage! So put away your fears that The Donald doesn’t want to use you for sex ladies. He totes does:

“I don’t think he’s feminist,” Ivana says upon her return when asked of Donald’s stance. “He loves women. But not a feminist.” (Ivana’s reps called The Post two days after the interview to clarify that Donald was a feminist. Then they called to say he wasn’t. An hour later, they said he was.) It was that love of women that led to the couple’s divorce. Ivana discovered that her husband was cheating on her with former beauty queen Marla Maples.

Being admired/used as a sex object is just like being equal politically, socially and economically, amirite?

Ivana also sought to tamp down the accusations of bigotry lobbed at her ex-husband. She has nothing against Mexicans, because someone has to clean up after us. No, really. She said that. Also she, who is an immigrant, doesn’t think other female immigrants should be able to come here and just give birth because then she is stuck paying for their whole family. Using “immigrant” to mean Mexican probably has something to do this blind spot.

But who, if not immigrants, is going to vacuum our living rooms, I ask you?

“As long as you come here legally and get a proper job . . . we need immigrants. Who’s going to vacuum our living rooms and clean up after us? Americans don’t like to do that.”

So see, The Donald and Ivana love immigrants just as much as they love women. Someone has to do the work/take the punishment.

Ivana seems to have the same vague memory problems as her ex-husband. She recalls that President Reagan, or “somebody” brought her then husband a letter and told him to run for president. Surely if President Reagan had indeed done this, it would be a memory?

“Reagan or somebody brought him a letter and said, ‘You should run for president,’” Ivana told the Post while explaining that The Donald had always wanted to run for president, he just got waylaid by that Marla Maples affair scandal that ended her marriage. Oh, and by the way, she totes blames Marla for that and can’t forgive her, but she is a “cheerleader” for The Donald, the man who broke the vows he took, unlike Marla. But why not blame the woman for the sins of the man? It’s how they do things in The Donald world.

Ivana does know some things for sure though, and one of them is that while Donald can make decisions, President Obama can’t. Trump will have advisers, you see? Unlike, say… Obama. Thus, she told the Post, “Obama cannot make a decision if his life depends on it. It’s ridiculous.”

Oh, yes, the Fox fictional President Obama is what is ridiculous around here. Totally. Not the guy telling America he wants to punish women for abortions or his ex-wife showing exactly why she is not a cheerleader for women since she only blames Marla Maples for her divorce and not her husband — only reinforcing The Donald’s entitlement to punish women for the sins of all.

Thus we conclude this episode of the conservative mantra: I got mine, now screw you! With the cherry of using women for sex is the exact same as loving them so don’t even worry about that punish women for an abortion comment that the Donald took back and then affirmed and then took back and then reaffirmed and then doubled down on.

By “punish”, you see, you have to remember that someone has to “clean up after us.” Capiche?

Sarah Jones

Listen to Sarah on the PoliticusUSA Pod on The Daily newsletter podcast here.

Sarah has been credentialed to cover President Barack Obama, then VP Joe Biden, 2016 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, and exclusively interviewed Speaker Nancy Pelosi multiple times and exclusively covered her first home appearance after the first impeachment of then President Donald Trump.

Sarah is two-time Telly award winning video producer and a member of the Society of Professional Journalists.

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