Republican Party

Castro Wannabe Ted Cruz Wins Valueless Voters Straw Poll

I presented a recap of the 2013 Valueless Voters Summit yesterday, in which a bunch of tea party religious fanatics get together each year to demonstrate that they have no values that have an even passing resemblance to the values embodied by the United States Constitution. Basically, it has been a “theocracy now” event for eight years running.

Don't Miss Sarah Jones's Essay On Kristi Noem Titled Predatory Is The Point On The Daily.

At the height of the crowd’s rapture – we might want to call it a “theogasm” – they hold a straw poll to say which fanatic they think is best equipped to destroy America’s experiment in democracy. No surprise, this year they selected Ted Cruz.

Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council (FRC) said, “I just spoke with Senator Cruz and he wanted me to convey to you his deep appreciation for your enthusiastic and … that he was very grateful to know that there are Americans across the country who are standing with him as he stands for your values here in Washington, D.C.”

The Christian Post seems to think this represents a win for “religious liberty.” Given what we know of their definition of religious liberty – they have it and we don’t – all you can say is that you have to love it when the crowd gets it right.

Fox News says, calling Cruz “one of the Republican Party and conservative movement’s most dynamic leaders,” says the straw poll results solidify his status among religious conservatives. It certainly solidified his status as a Cuban Castro wannabe whack-job who hates America.

Castro – er, I mean Cruz – got 42 percent of the vote. Where did Rick Santorum come in? At 13 percent. Fox News’ Ben Carson also got 13 percent of the vote. But bad as Santorum no doubt feels, some of the other tea party movers and shakers did even worse: Rand Paul got just 6 percent of the vote and Marco Rubio a measly 5 percent.

Paul Ryan didn’t even do that well.

CNN pointed out that Cruz’s “first-place finish captured the highest percentage of votes since the straw poll began in 2007.”

S.E. Cupp, co-host of Crossfire, can sing Paul Ryan’s praises, but religious fanatics love them some Cruz (keep in mind the deluded Cupp thinks a liberal media is attacking Christianity, so take anything she says with a grain of salt).

Carson did come in first in the vice presidential straw poll, getting 21 percent. Cruz came in second with 17 percent and future-convict Michele Bachmann got 9 percent.

In case you’re wondering what this means to the theocracy now gang, Tony Perkins, himself planning a run for Congress in Louisiana in 2014, said in a statement,

The Values Voter straw poll reveals what conservative, Republican-leaning voters are looking for in a potential candidate. Values voters are looking for those who will refuse to be bound by the ‘can’t mentality’ of the establishment and will challenge the status quo.

In short, values voters, many of whom did not fully engage in the last election, are looking for a leader that will inspire them by challenging President Obama and speak clearly and directly to the challenges facing America.

Of course, by definition, conservatives can’t challenge the status quo, since conservatism is predicated on defense and maintenance of the status quo. Conservatives love to present themselves as rebels and revolutionaries, but what they are is counter-revolutionaries, aiming to nip the revolution in the bud, or even two-plus centuries after the fact.

Later is better than never.

Look out Constitution.

Image: From Christian Post

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