As South Recedes into 13th Century, Food Runs Out, Health Declines

This is one possible interpretation of the inability of Southern states, especially Mississippi (six years in a row), Louisiana, and Alabama, to feed themselves. Other possibilities include, obviously, divine wrath. God may hate the South, or it is even possible that the South is under the control of Satan, who is determined to starve the population there for reasons as yet undetermined.

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A more likely explanation is the complete and utter failure of Republican governance.

According to Gallup’s 2014 State of the States:

For the sixth consecutive year, Mississippians were the most likely in the U.S. to report struggling to afford food. In 2013, 25.1% report there was at least one time in the last 12 months when they did not have enough money to buy the food they or their families needed. Residents in West Virginia, Louisiana, and Alabama were also among the most likely to struggle to afford food. Residents of Alaska, New Hampshire, and Minnesota were among the least likely to have this problem.

Here, have a gander at the list:

If you look at which party controls which state, my reasoning becomes clear:

The Devil…er, um…I mean, the GOP, controls most of the states on Gallup’s list. Statistically then, you are more likely to starve in a Red State than in a Blue State. Seven out of 10 states on the list are fully controlled by the GOP. The GOP has only full control of four of the 10 least-hungry states. Conversely, Democrats fully control only one hungry state and three least-hungry states, with dual control over all the others.

Table 1: Hungry States = Red States

Created with the HTML Table Generator

The first thing we might note is that three of these states – Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama, are among the most conservative states in the country, according to Gallup’s 2013 State of the States.

Another thing that pops out is a comparison with the biggest moocher states, those that suck up the most taxes. Most of them are in the Old Confederacy and solidly red. Mississippi #2, Louisiana #4, Alabama #7 (Kentucky is #9).

And did you notice that Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama, are not only among the biggest moochers but also the most conservative?

And that all three are in the top ten hungry states? Here’s something else: Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama, also all appear among the bottom ten of the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index:

And are on Gallup’s 2014 top ten list of most religious states:

They are also on CBS’top 19 list of states with the toughest anti-abortion laws.

The heart of the Old Confederacy is solidly Red, solidly unhealthy, religiously conservative, hungry, mooching, and in the fast lane to the thirteenth century. This is clearly no coincidence.

On the other hand, out of the biggest tax producing states, New Hampshire is #4, Minnesota #5, and Illinois %6, are all Democratic controlled and are all healthier than Mississippi, Alabama, and Louisiana, and less politically and religiously conservative.

You might notice too that according to Gallup’s annual State of the States, released on February 1, that none of the hungry states appear on the list of the most moderate states:

Even an inbred, Confederate flag-toting, tea bagging cracker ought to be able to see what I’m cooking here, and it is not pretty. And look, as I said above, it is also not necessary to blame God for this mess. It is far more reasonable to point fingers at the Talibangelical Republicans who run these states. And what you see here is a foretaste of the Republican prescription for the rest of America. This is a poison that will spread.

But the world of facts aside, if you insist on viewing the situation through the GOP’s red-tinted glasses, you cannot avoid the conclusion that God hates Red States, because whatever else is going on there, they are certainly not enjoying the milk and honey of the Promised Land.

Hrafnkell Haraldsson

Hrafnkell Haraldsson, a social liberal with leanings toward centrist politics has degrees in history and philosophy. His interests include, besides history and philosophy, human rights issues, freedom of choice, religion, and the precarious dichotomy of freedom of speech and intolerance. He brings a slightly different perspective to his writing, being that he is neither a follower of an Abrahamic faith nor an atheist but a polytheist, a modern-day Heathen who follows the customs and traditions of his Norse ancestors. He maintains his own blog, A Heathen’s Day, which deals with Heathen and Pagan matters, and Mos Maiorum Foundation www.mosmaiorum.org, dedicated to ethnic religion. He has also contributed to NewsJunkiePost, GodsOwnParty and Pagan+Politics.