Media

Funny or Die Spoofs The Conservative Men On The Supreme Court’s Women Hating Ways

Boys deciding things badly; aka, the U.S. Supreme Court playing Hobby Lobby deciders.

This is a Funny or Die spoof, but it doesn’t seem that far off, which is what makes it so piercing. The Funny or Die Digital PR team described it thusly, “You’ve heard the Supreme Court was an “old boys’ club,” but you probably didn’t know about the forts, nudie mags, and secret passwords.”

No, but we suspected.

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Watch “Supreme Court: No Girls Allowed” here:

As the camera finds its way into the boys’ fort in the U.S. Supreme Court Judge’s Chambers, the boys are discussing the hotness of the female justices, declaring that they are getting kind of tired of Ginsburg. A sign petulantly announces, “No girls allowed!”

In order to decide Hobby Lobby, they bang their toys together and mimic women, “Boom, boom! I’m an angry feminist and I want consequence free sex!”

“Too bad, the winner is Hobby Lobby!” Thus they declare that Hobby Lobby takes out the women and wins!

The three female justices track down the old boys in their fort and demand to be included in the process of deciding things, which prompts the boys into mocking the “whiny” chicken voices of the women. “It is illegal to form a government funded organization that excludes women!” Martha Plimpton announces, scattering misery on their fun. A male justice whines, “They’re not entitled to boss us around!”

After the women demand a seat at the fort table, so to speak, the boys tell them they are too late and anyway, they are out numbered. The male justices crow about what a great world it is when you’re a man.

A female justice tries to get them to reconsider their vote on a woman’s issue when all three female justices disagree, but the boys snigger about periods instead and claim they wouldn’t vote on periods but the rest they understand. This is when the nudie magazine appears.

The female justices point out that they are objectifying women but the boys are having none of it.

The skit closes with they boys saying they want to vote on equal pay again for fun, just so they can say no! They laugh at their own “joke” in the way that I’ve often pictured the sort of man who would resent women’s freedom and independence doing. Let’s just say, it becomes pretty clear why they don’t want women to have any say in sex.

This is how I have often pictured many of the men in charge of making “decisions” for the country — entitled, surly, immature, close-minded, greedy, over-compensating, and making up for what they lack in gravitas with an abundance of hubris and self-importance even as they make total fools of themselves.

In other words, as Nora Ephron wrote in When Harry Met Sally, your basic nightmare. Only this time it refers to our Supreme Court, which is way more troubling. I found this skit way too close to reality to really laugh. It was more Jon Stewart type social commentary — some things are best expressed in satire, because the absurdity of the situation is so surreal.

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