Republican Party

Michele Bachmann Says Only God Can Defeat Hilary in 2016

Speaking with Jan Markell of Olive Tree Ministries, Michele Bachmann in the course of an hour-long chat said that only God can defeat Hilary in 2016. Probably, only God can keep Bachmann out of jail, but that’s another story.

Read: The Republican Presumptive Nominee for President is A Convicted Felon

Where Hilary is concerned, Bachmann is trusting to the Lord God Almighty:

I don’t at all [fear Hilary will win] because I look at the story of David and Goliath, all David needed was one smooth stone to fell the giant. It wasn’t the stone, it wasn’t David, it was the strong right arm of a Holy God.

Bachmann is forgetting that Republicans were trusting to God to defeat Obama in 2008, and God gave them Barack Obama, whom they now accuse of plotting to establish an Islamic Caliphate (presumably then, he was killing Osama bin Laden as a potential rival for the role).

As a matter of fact, they have trusted in their god to do a lot of things (end abortion, lower the price of gas, etc) he has declined to do.

It’s almost as if they are turning their god into a tool or a weapon to be deployed to accomplish tasks they can’t.

Which doesn’t make him much of a god, when you think about it, occupying, as he does, such a subservient role to his alleged worshipers. Shouldn’t God’s voice be thundering down from heaven warning us not to vote for Hilary?

Not happening. Bachmann knows its not happening. That’s why so many Republicans are pretending to speak for their god.

Just like Bachmann said God told her to run for Prez in 2012. If she’s listening to God, doesn’t that also mean he told her to break election laws? And look where that’s getting her.

And yes, that’s another story. I’m sorry. It’s such an attractive story….

Bachmann apparently wants to hedge her bets, saying the GOP needs a “positive, big picture message solution.” Positive and GOP are not words that go together these days, when a message built on hate and exclusion permeates American conservatism.

Look at their platform last time around, written by a bunch of religious fanatics, a platform based on the Old Testament rather than the United States Constitution.

And they wonder why they lost.

And, of course, Bachmann says we have to stick with Israel and, speaking of exclusion, reject immigrants. “I got to tell you,” she said, “I’ve been shocked and appalled by the conservatives who have gotten on board this train of amnesty for illegal aliens. I’ve been absolutely floored.”

Appalled…wait till she gets to federal prison. Then she will be appalled and…floored.

Oh, sorry! I promised that was another story. I won’t do it again. Promise.

Anyway, Bachmann said,

For some reason they’re [naughty Republicans] on a political suicide journey to make sure this [immigration reform] happens. This will hurt and forever structurally change our country into the future and I think it will hurt us from a national security perspective as well.

Right. Republican fantasies of immigrants with explosives smuggled across the border in their anuses with those beefy cantaloupe calves.

And in a sort of shout-out to Iowa, where Ted Cruz is carrying on with her particular brand of crazy, Bachmann could not ignore Republican millennialism:

We are in times that are unprecedented. These are the times of birth pangs, we’re seeing the intensity of age and the speed and rapidity that these events are starting to speed up so fast that we can hardly get our minds about it.

Well, her mind, at any rate, which was never one of the world’s finest. I mean, she thinks David Barton is a constitutional expert. ‘Nuff said.

Jan Markell opined “that many are heartbroken because we’ve watched this wonderful country of ours just tank more and more and more because of this secular humanist, hardcore, atheistic, left who is hell bent on socialism for America.”

Oh those nasty secular humanists and their United States Constitution. Just as Republicans won’t forgive Obama for being a black man, they won’t forgive the Founding Fathers for writing a secular Constitution. The Founding Fathers aren’t around to blame anymore so they blame those of us who defend that Constitution instead, while they try to turn the Founding Fathers into religious fanatics.

What’s funny is that Americans seem well aware of its choice coming down to that between rampant and unbridled capitalist corporatism and a people-friendly socialism and the corporatist message has been rejected in two consecutive national elections.

And now we have Bachmann’s open admission that 2016 will bring yet a third rejection – unless the Lord God Almighty steps in and smites Hilary hip and thigh in the best Old Testament sense.

Good luck with that, Michele.

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