It’s Time to Break Up With Texas

We have become used to bizarre news items coming out of Red States. They’re full of Tea Party-types, white militias, and religious fanatics, after all. But what is wrong in Texas that it seems to be the epicenter of so much craziness?

Like the fourth grader in Kermit, Texas who was suspended for making “terroristic” threats with a ring that doesn’t exist. Nine-year-old Aiden Steward told a classmate at Kermit Elementary School that he’d use his “One Ring” – forged in Mount Doom of course – to make him disappear.

I could see suspending somebody for threatening to shoot somebody – guns do exist – but how can you threaten somebody with something that not only does not exist, but cannot?

And if it’s bad science, its bad fiction too, because the One Ring doesn’t make other people disappear, but its wearer. Counsel young Mr. Steward for failing to understand Tolkien if you want, but suspend him? Really? Why isn’t everyone involved just laughing, or at least saying, “Well, he’s a kid.” I mean, he’s NINE. Not only was nobody hurt, but nobody could be hurt, for crying out loud.

If that is not bad enough, we’ve seen Texas declare Moses a Founding Father. If Moses is a Founding Father, what’s wrong with magic rings? I’d volunteer to be disappeared. Get me out of here. Now.


Texas Governor Gregg Abbott – yes they can find governors stupider than Rick Perry in Texas – thinks he can change the essential nature of math, falling into the trap of totalitarian states that there is such a thing as Communist math, or National Socialist math, that is somehow superior or more true than, well…just math. You know, like in the Common Core.

I know they do teach things differently these days, and there is a learning curve for parents, but they taught things differently when I was a kid too. Parents of my day had a hard time helping kids with math too – the “new” math – which was different than the “old” math of their childhoods. Teaching methods change. And that’s what’s key here: the math doesn’t change – it stays the same – just the teaching method changes.

I’m not sure Gregg Abbott understands that, and I don’t think glasses are going to help him any more than they are helping Rick Perry. Nor will other conservatives who have a firmer grasp on our shared reality, like radio host Bill Bennett, a conservative, who tried, futilely to explain to Abbott Sunday that he was hurting his state by rejecting Common Core.

Chris Wallace of Fox News even tried to explain some facts – yes, facts to Abbott:

“Your state of Texas got an overall grade of C minus and ranked 39th among the 50 states. Meanwhile, the top nine states, in terms of their performance, governor, all have adopted Common Core.”

When Abbott argued for “local control” (and I think he just proved that’s a bad idea), Bennett dropped the logic bomb:

“You’ve got local control, you decided that Common Core wouldn’t be in Texas so it’s not in Texas. And Texas can teach math any way it wants, but what Texas can’t do is change the nature of mathematics and what mathematical reasoning and mathematical sequence becomes.

No arguing with that, right? Abbott did, saying, “I’ve got to strenuously disagree with that.”

“Of course you do,” we all want to say by now. It’s Texas, after all. And this may all be moot anyway, if a Texas legislator gets his way and gives teachers permission to shoot students. I would imagine schools would empty out pretty fast. Let’s face it, better ignorant than dead.


And what would Texas be without Islamophobia? First we have Christian terrorist Christine Weick, daring Franklin Graham to take over a mosque and “have a service there.”

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Let’s bring in our Bibles, let’s bring in our liturgy, let’s bring in the hymnals, let’s put up crucifixes where we acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord, and let’s go into their mosque and do that. I guarantee you that will never happen because they scream tolerance of everything, and yet they’re not tolerant of us – at all.

Um….because taking over a mosque is tolerant?

Or attacking an imam for praying over a rodeo? That’s tolerant, right?

On Sunday, January 25, Moujahed Bakhach of the Islamic Association of Tarrant County led a public prayer at the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo. The reaction was anything but friendly, as The Dallas Morning News tells us, with the stock show’s Facebook page filling up with comments like this:

A sampling of the sentiments expressed: “I for one won’t attend an event that allows a darkness to be spoke over me,” “Muslim/Islam has no place in this country” and “I just will choose NOT to go somewhere that embraces a religion that wants me, my family and my people DEAD.”

Well, we’ll just forget that part in the Old Testament then where it says to stone all non-believers dead. And that part where it says to turn the other cheek. And to love your enemies.

This episode brings to mind the Texans who got upset that Muslims weren’t publicly decrying terrorism, but when some of them tried to do just that at a conference, were told by home-grown, white Christian terrorists to “Go home and take Obama with you.”

Even though America is their home, just as it is the home of Moujahed Bakhach.

And we can’t leave without mentioning the spate of open-carry episodes recently, with open carry advocates storming the capitol and forcing legislators to vote panic buttons into existence, because, you know, it’s rather hard to focus on debating legislation with a bunch of armed people standing over your shoulder telling you how to vote.

More pointedly, why did a nine-year-old get in trouble for threatening to use a non-existent ring and a bunch of people with real guns didn’t?

With one Texas legislator wanting teachers to shoot their students and another wanting to end the Union through nullification, I’m thinking more than ever that it’s a pity Santa Anna didn’t win.

I feel bad for sane Texans – I do – but really, we don’t deserve this as a country. The sort of pig-ignorance you find in Texas these days is dragging us all down, embarrassing the entire country. I mean, how valuable a part of the country is a state Allen West flees to when Florida becomes too smart for him?

I’m sorry folks, but it’s time to break up with Texas. Or maybe we can borrow that magic ring…


View Comments

  • Rewriting history 101 sponsored by the paranoid delusional tea party. They fear what they do not understand(the Constitution).

    Some common core would do them good.

  • Texas is a welfare state that gets more federal money than it pays in taxes to Washington. Add to that federal military spending and Texas becomes America's mosquito. We don't need Texas as a nation, but Texas would starve if the rest of the nation wasn't flipping the bill for these cowboy hat wearing freeloaders.

  • NO DOUBLE H!!!!

    They have a part of NASA and key military bases.

    In this country there will ALWAYS be disagreements.

    The question is can we be civil about it.

    • I think that most of us who come to sites like this one can be civil, but I doubt that civility towards different others is part of the agenda of these RWNJs.

  • The right-wingers are really showing their insanity these days. I think a lot of them were always with us, but they weren't nearly as vocal. Now, however, bats**t crazy is mainstream Republicanism.

    I think, as I'm sure most people from planet Earth, that we are going to see a lot of problems with the right, there seem to be a lot more of them today, and more often than not, they call themselves Christians.

    All a person needs to do is go to a right-wing site and read the comments, these folks are more than a few cards short of a full deck. It really is disturbing to think what they could do.

  • I, too, feel bad for the sane, the decent, the truly civilized Texans... And it is this, alone, that dissuades me from wishing Texas an evil destiny.

    Much as druggies must usually hit bottom before getting straight, so too shall I take an unholy pleasure as I witness Texas bottom out.

    • I would have included the Israeli flag as a show of loyalty to the US but I literally ran out of room for all the Texas-related insanity I wanted to include

  • If we wish to survive, we must demand religion get its nose out of politics. To get religion out of politics,we need to spend our tax dollars on education, not 'the economy.'

    The Theory of Evolution is based on hard science. Economics theories are 'best guesses' that extrapolate human behavior.

  • I predicted the plan of Conservative Christians to infiltrate the school system through the election of board members then the destruction from within to get defunding measures passed. Now they are being even more parasitic by forcing their ways into public schools through use of space for churches on school property. They have infected our education system like a virus and must be removed. Texas does it's part in the destruction of our text books with Christian Conservative LIES!! Those faux Christians have screeched and bellowed about a "War on Religion" a "War on Christianity" I say it's high time we took that title and mantle on and indeed wage a war against these Christian Fascist's!!! Let's destroy them before they destroy the world.

  • Before ya'all decide to kick Texas to the curb please let me know so I can get my passport in order.I recently moved to Tx and, long story short, because of my son and his family. But after living here for a short time I realized that Tx and Texan's live in a world unto themselves, very scary that. I know I will try my best to teach my grandson right from wrong and get him into critical thinking. So like I said, before you throw Tx out with the dishwater, please let me know. And yes they would deserve it.

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