Arizona Legislates Women Into a State of Perpetual Pregnancy

Memo to: Tea Party Patriots, Members of National Right to Life, Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar, and the U.S. Congress of Catholic Bishops.

Did you hear the news? The Arizona State Legislature, no doubt with the assistance of the American Legislative Exchange Council has just achieved the goal that has eluded all of you for so long. And Arizona did it without one whit of help from women or doctors; indeed they did it without involving a single sperm. With just upraised hands they accomplished what those of us most profoundly affected by their action had always assumed was impossible.

They have legislated women into a state of perpetual pregnancy.

While this borders on the unfathomable, let me at least try to explain. Tuesday the legislature passed three bills aimed at curbing abortion. (Ed. Note: In Arizona Tuesdays and Thursdays are devoted to laws depriving women of human rights; Monday and Friday are for anti-immigrant legislation, and Wednesday is reserved for resolutions demanding the President’s birth certificate.) One bill rolls the timeline defining late term abortions forward to 18 weeks and contains a clause that dates gestational age from “the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman.” This effectively moves the beginning of a pregnancy to two weeks prior to conception.

Instead of being proof positive that she is not pregnant, her period will now inform every woman between the approximate ages of 12 and 55 that her latest pregnancy has just begun. And, she must assume that pregnancy exists until the moment her next period starts when she must again….  Oh hell, you get the point.

By now the comments section below is probably filling up with notes straightening out my concept of biology. At least one of them reads – You idiot, this law is just meant to assist doctors in determining if an abortion is still legal.”

Horse hockey! Let me show you where this is going. Remember the bill introduced a year or so ago in Georgia that would have assumed that every lost pregnancy was an abortion until proven differently? While at that point there were still a few men with brains left in the Georgia legislature and it did not pass, at the rate the situation for women is deteriorating in every red state the bill will be back and its operational potential is terrifying. Under such a law a woman could be held liable for a crime if a spontaneous abortion occurred and she had previously been horseback riding or on a two-day toot.

So a law like Georgia’s coupled with the new Arizona law would force women to give up for their entire childbearing life anything which might endanger the life of her unborn child – even if she isn’t carrying one. Being a virgin or celibate would not excuse her because couldn’t that conceivably (so to speak) change in the next two weeks?

Obviously tobacco use is off the table as is any type of presumed risky entertainment (sky diving? Apache dancing?) and even worse women could be precluded from holding lots of well paying but strenuous jobs. Even without a Georgia-like presumptive abortion bill, the Arizona law could be setting us up for a round of child safety laws regulating women’s diet, alcohol consumption, and exercise.

And ladies, guess what. This little gem was introduced into the Arizona legislature by a woman, State Rep. Kimberly Yee (R-Phoenix), and may well be signed into law by another woman, Governor Jan Brewer. Of all the things Arizona has done to embarrass itself over the last four years, that they have elevated any woman into a position of power who is capable of so abusing her sisters, nieces and daughters has to be the worst.

14 Replies to “Arizona Legislates Women Into a State of Perpetual Pregnancy”

  1. Arizona as well on its way to being run by a religious theology and a few insane people. The Constitution that God wrote is no longer in play as men are now making the decisions(men = mankind)

    I never dreamed in my entire life that things would get this terribly silly

  2. The situation in Arizona is proof positive that women can be every bit as anti-woman in their policies as any reactionary man. I can only wonder about the extent of the inevitable fallout from such draconian and unrealistic policies, and it WILL happen. I also sincerely hope that this puts Arizonans on notice that they need to vote out the likes of Gov. Brewer, Rep. Yee, and other regressives.

  3. I gathered from another blog post that brewer signed it into law alreadty. If not arizonans should contact her office asap

  4. hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah….WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?hahahahahahahahaha…
    WHAT?…hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahah…..ok, I am trying to stop laughing sooooooooooooooooooooo hard.. but I can’t..
    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.. there is something in the water.. It is making people CRAZY!!!

  5. So since women in Arizona are now all considered pregnant, do they get all the same benefits too? More money from tax returns, easier access to health insurance, guaranteed welfare benefits like food stamps and cash aid, and Drs have to accept them as new patients too? In fact I’m pretty sure pregnant women can get completely free health insurance if they can’t afford it. This could possibly be a good thing for poor women in Arizona. Women need to figure out how to use this new law against the state to benefit themselves. Being constantly pregnant could work out for them if they go about it correctly.

  6. Does this mean that if a woman wants a baby and her spouse or partner does not impregnate her, she can have him charged with murder?

  7. By “smaller government”, the Republicans really mean mini-pad government?

    Arizona Special Forces – Menses Unit

    Republican War on Women, Chapter 18, the Surge

  8. You now realize that by passing these bills, these two have put themselves on the rape list for every male woman’s rights activist groups out there. And I’m sure there’s one extreme enough to actually go through with it.

    They get pregnant, and if all goes as Yankee claims, delicious ironic justice will be had by all, as they wont be able to do anything about it, and most likely kicked out of office for being too high stress (this last part is obviously a stretch, but I do eagerly wait for the news that they’ve become pregnant with a rape baby)

  9. Hey Yellow Dog, put yourself some knowledge about how gestational ages are counted by people who actually deliver babies for a living. Hint: it’s “the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman.” Although why this requires legislative recognition is certainly questionable, your blinding idiocy in making a cheap political point is another matter entirely.

    Alternately, consult an OB doctor. You’ll get the same answer. Most parents know this.


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