Conservative Pundit: Rand Paul’s Blue Jeans Will Carry Him to the White House

Rand_Paul_Jeans

Well, we know who our next president is, crows David Brody, Christian Broadcasting Network’s chief political correspondent: Rand Paul.

And you know why? Go ahead and ask. Because he wears jeans! “The jeans symbolize something that no other potential candidate for president possesses.”

That’s right, because he wears jeans, you know that Rand Paul is hep to the jive:

He also understands that the traditional Republican orthodoxy of the past needs to change in order to win future elections. Does that mean those conservative principles need to change? No, of course not. But a fresh, different approach is needed.

And, Brody tells us, Paul is “going to do his best to walk that new path…in a pair of blue jeans that could take him into straight into The White House.”

Don’t believe it? Remember when Rand Paul said,

That doesn’t mean we give up on what we believe in, but it means we have to be a more welcoming party. We have to welcome people of all races. We need to welcome people of all classes – business class, working class.

Well Rand Paul is living it, not just saying it, babeeeee! I mean, he’s bringing it!

What we are witnessing is a man who has no desire to use the same tired old GOP playbook that’s been trotted out for decades. He’s creating a new playbook and trying to create a new, younger, more diverse GOP voting constituency.

[…]

Do you get the picture? Rand Paul is different than every other Republican who may run for president. Heck, one of his favorite musical artists is Indie-Pop singer Aimee Allen. That’s the way Rand Paul rolls. Sunglasses, jeans, and Indie-Pop.

Who knew Neo-Confederate, white supremacist Christian Nationalism could be so cool? Forget the 1930s. Völkisch is so 21st century!

It really sets Super Paul apart from the drab, mundane pack. Brody writes,

You see, Rand Paul likes to wear jeans. While other politicians are wearing a suit and tie, Paul is different. At the recent CPAC event, all the other politicians went with the traditional look. Not Paul. Jeans were in order.

Paul’s choice of leg attire represents something. Whether the senator from Kentucky knows it or not, it’s his calling card to say he’s unique, different, and a trendsetter within the Republican Party. His libertarian “genes” are represented in those blue jeans.

According to Brody,

Paul’s choice of leg attire represents something. Whether the senator from Kentucky knows it or not, it’s his calling card to say he’s unique, different, and a trendsetter within the Republican Party. His libertarian “genes” are represented in those blue jeans.

Take that, other politicians! I mean, who else is bold enough, daring enough, Maverick enough to wear jeans, thus demonstrating their unique suitability for public office?

OBAMA-JEANS

Ooops.

Okay, but other than Obama, who else is hip enough to wear jeans? And he’s a Democrat anyway. I mean, c’mon! Show me another Republican trendsetter with jeans full of libertarian jeans! I dare ya! I double dog dare ya!

Ted_Cruz_Jeans

Ummm, oh alright, but other than Barack Obama and Ted Cruz, who else is anywhere near cool enough to wear jeans?

Great_Conservative_Women_Jeans

Oh fine!

But look, certainly you see that Rand Paul is the only Republican cool enough to wear jeans! And surely you see that “He’s going to places that Republicans just don’t frequent. I mean, UC Berkley?”

According to Brody, Paul’s over-the-top libertarian coolness stuffed into a pair of jeans will carry him all the way to the White House. But will it be that easy? Do blue jeans cancel out the extreme nature of Paul’s political agenda? Do they hide his rampant Christian nationalism and bigotry?

Not so fast, David Brody.

Michael Gerson wrote in an op-ed at The Washington Post that there is no substantive difference between Ron Paul and Rand Paul’s libertarianism: “Rand Paul’s goal is to legitimize the Paulite movement, not repudiate its worst elements.” And jeans be damned: Rand’s “ties to those elements,” wrote Gerson, “may put an upward limit on his political rise.”

Because, let’s face it, as any Heathen will tell ya: we are our deeds, not our jeans. And deed-wise? Rand Paul is one ugly dude.

29 Replies to “Conservative Pundit: Rand Paul’s Blue Jeans Will Carry Him to the White House”

  1. Oh yeah, the youngs will be hip to this jive hepcat and his jeans! and his uh… Hair? Plagiarism? White supremacist staffers? Huh. Yeah, okay.

  2. If Paul really wants the vote of ‘his’ people he needs to put on some Bib Overalls and pull out a couple of teeth. He doesn’t fool anyone. Pandering for the youth vote will be his downfall. They are intelligent, well informed, and ask the tough questions.

    I would never vote for him or anyone of his party for the simple fact that they do not support birth control or abortion. They want to force women to have children yet once that child is born they do not want that mother to receive any assistance to help raise that child. In my opinion that is the definition of a dead beat dad.

  3. Serious articles and commentary should require serious responses. So, your post was pretty darn restrained, all things considered.

  4. NOPE. The blood thirsty Neo-Cons who want one war after another one will not allow him to be the GOP candidate.

  5. Ah, Phil, you almost killed me with your initial comment. I’m still coughing up Irish Breakfast Tea and will probably be bursting into laughter at odd moments for the next few days just remembering it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  6. Let’s not forget how he lied about having a license to practice medicine. He may of went to school for it but he doesn’t have a license for it and yes he has seen patients.

  7. Standard repube BS. With them it’s always style over substance, though it’s really all they’ve got, given their hateful agenda.

  8. Only a moron dresses down a blazer and tie with a pair of blue jeans. Not to mention blazers are late spring summer ware not winter. I bet he wares his linen pants with the same jacket at Christmas parties. He’s so cool.

  9. Rand Paul reminds me of a little brat, he manages to
    keep his dad’s support group and beyond that he has done nothing, apparently he is saying experience in Washington is not needed.
    Bottom line – he is a brat and he wants to be president – so there!!

  10. Maybe next he’ll campaign with an “indie-pop” singer, or even watch a NASCAR race and take “selfies” with drivers! He might even *gasp* drink a beer in public! Whew, Paul is a wild man with an irresistible common touch!

  11. Holy Crap people! I’m wearing Jeans! So that means I’m presidential material! In all seriousness I have no college education but I’ve learned much more than Rand and his Reich wing cohorts about life.I would make a much better candidate than any of the conservative clowns shown above in their jeans. Me for President!

  12. Good one Shiva! No I still have my long hair and it’s salt and pepper grey cut in the mullet style. But do you think the American public is ready for a Frank Zappa look alike? But in the 80’s I had a perm and I looked like….My name is Inigio Montoya..you are the man who killed my father… Prepare to die..

  13. LOL, when I was 20 I had hair down to the middle of my back. Sadly as I grew older my hair betrayed me and left for warmer climates

  14. I would vote for you Joseph over any of these clowns. Have you really studied that picture they posted? With his arm up like that all you have to do is slap a mustache on him and you got Hitler with a toupee and mom jeans.

  15. Shiva,genetics can suck at times. My father started losing his hair in WW2 but myself and my brothers have full hair still, that’s the Cherokee from our mother.

  16. “He also understands that the traditional Republican orthodoxy of the past needs to change in order to win future elections. Does that mean those conservative principles need to change? No, of course not. But a fresh, different approach is needed.”

    Yeah, like having Marsha Blackburn tell women that there is no GOP ‘War on Women’ while she never misses an opportunity to vote for bills which are intended to invade our lady parts?

    Or, maybe like the Land chick who said recently that there’s no GOP ‘War on Women’ because she’s a woman?

    This dude’s simplistic way of thinking demonstrates everything that’s wrong with today’s GOPTP. According to him, Rand Paul doesn’t need substance, he only needs fashion sense. It reminds me of the time Norquist said in 2012 that all the GOP needed in the WH was someone who could sign his name.

    No matter how the GOPTP tries to re-package this sh*t, it still stinks to high heaven, and a pair of jeans won’t solve its many problems.

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