President Obama didn’t spare himself or either side of the aisle at the 2015 White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Here are his five best jokes.
Here are our picks for the President’s five best jokes from the 2015 White House Correspondents Dinner:
1). And that’s not all people say about me. A few weeks ago, Dick Cheney says he thinks I’m the worst President of his lifetime. Which is interesting, because I think Dick Cheney is the worst President of my lifetime. It’s quite a coincidence.
2). But of course, let’s face it, there is one issue on every reporter’s mind and that is 2016. Already, we’ve seen some missteps. It turns out Jeb Bush identified himself as “Hispanic” back in 2009. Which you know what, look, I understand. It’s an innocent mistake. Reminds me of when I identified myself as “American” back in 1961.
3). It’s amazing how time flies. Soon, the first presidential contest will take place. And I for one cannot wait to see who the Koch brothers pick.
It’s exciting. Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker. Who will finally get that red rose? The winner gets a billion-dollar war chest. The runner up gets to be the bachelor on the next season of “The Bachelor.” I mean, seriously, a billion dollars. From just two guys. Is it just me, or does that feel a little excessive? I mean, it’s almost insulting to the candidates. The Koch brothers think they need to spend a billion dollars to get folks to like one of these people. It’s got to hurt their feelings a little bit.
4). Just this week, Michele Bachmann actually predicted that I would bring about the biblical end of days. Now that’s a legacy! That’s big. I mean, Lincoln, Washington — they didn’t do that.
5). And Bernie Sanders might run. I like Bernie. Bernie is an interesting guy. Apparently some folks really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House. We could get a third Obama term after all. It could happen.