Rush Limbaugh Reveals The GOP’s Horrible Secret: They Can’t Read

Republicans Go Through My Pet Goat Before Every Vote

Republicans Go Through My Pet Goat Before Every Vote

Rush Blames Obama for Expecting Senators to Read

Read: Samuel Alito Is The Insurrectionist Threat To Democracy On The Supreme Court

This morning on his radio show, Rush Limbaugh made a case for why the Republicans don’t want to vote on the START treaty. Apparently, none of them have had time to read it and Rush thinks they should be given special consideration for their reading impairment. DeMint has called to have all legislation read aloud to him on the Senate floor since he has been unable to complete the 17 page document on his own. Mr DeMint and his Republican buddies now advocate for a special ed version of the Senate in order to accommodate their choice to remain ignorant.

Care of Media Matters:

Shut down the lame duck. Jim DeMint wants to have this new START treaty read aloud on the floor… of the senate.

By new, Rush means April of 2010. You know, the job description of a US Senator is “Senators are assigned to serve on committees, in which they review bills, or proposed laws.” Yup. That’s it. I swear it doesn’t say anything about going on Fox News or attending fund-raisers or golfing. Nada. They review bills which sort of assumes they can read.

So these boys can’t do their jobs for some reason and Rush feels bad enough for them to put up this elaborate cover, which is nice and all, but hey, we’re reasonable people! If y’all had just admitted to being reading impaired, we could have all legislation put onto books on tape at a small cost, but what’s a few extra dollars to make the special ed Republicans feel good about themselves? I don’t mind.

RUSH: Obama says this is a new low! Putting political stunts ahead of national security. Right- to have the senate voting on the START treaty knowing what it says is a political stunt! Says the White House.

Again, everyone else has had time to review the START treaty, even folks who aren’t being paid to read it. It’s 17 pages long in PDF form. 17 pages. Here it is in case you have a free ten minutes on your lunch break.

And the following folks have had time to review and approve of it (note, many of these people have OTHER Jobs but still managed to do what DeMint et al claim they can’t): the head of the Missile Defense Agency, the Secretary of State, Secretary of Defense, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, every member of NATO, every Democrat in the Senate (guess they can read), the President of Russia, U.K. leaders past and present, major Israeli lobbies, Republican Cabinet Secretaries Henry A. Kissinger, George P. Shultz, James A. Baker III, Lawrence S. Eagleburger and Colin Powell and the ranking Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

In order to accommodate Mr DeMint’s reading handicap, we will need 7 to 12 hours to read the START treaty on the Senate floor. DeMint also wants the Omnibus Spending bill read aloud and that will take an additional 40 to 60 hours on the floor. That’s a whole lotta extra hours to help one man with his reading impairment.

Is this special education version of the Senate being paid for by taxpayers? Are we to slow everything down because Mr DeMint can’t read, even put the globe at nuclear risk for him? My heart goes out to him and all, but in this exceptional country wherein social Darwinism rules, Mr DeMint is quite simply dragging the rest of the class behind him. We have a huge deficit! If Mr DeMint can’t pull himself up by his own bootstraps, America will have to leave DeMint behind.

RUSH: I’d call it a public service especially when everything from stimulus to Obamacare to Omnibus was never read by anybody!

He’d call it public service, but that sounds a lot like community organizing, which as we all know is Commie Socialism so of course, we can’t do that on the Senate floor! What is Rush thinking? No wonder Michelle Bachmann is so concerned with un-American activities.

But even more concerning is Rush’s admission that other important legislation was read by no one (and by no one, he means Republicans since the health care bill was online and even every day citizens managed to read their way through that beast without the help of well paid aides). So there’s more special ed Senators, Rush? Do tell. Come now, you did it to Valerie surely you can turn coat on these welfare sucking Senators who threaten our national security with their failures. They can’t expect Americans to take care of them in their time of need. This is not a socialist country! They need to work harder or get out.

RUSH: And by the way speaking of political stunts what was Obama signing an executive order to close Gitmo?! Still open?

Who’s gonna tell Rush that the funding for GITMO closure is languishing in the Senate? Perhaps we are still waiting for Mr DeMint to read this one, too? Judging from Rush’s inability to comprehend how our government works, I fear the special ed status of the Republican Senate may in fact be contagious. This may be God’s special punishment of them for their evil beliefs. Being reading impaired is, after all, a choice and it’s not the American way to reward laziness. God likes winners boys. Man up.

RUSH: White House Gibbs says reading the START treaty that’s wasting the Senate’s time! I’ll go you one better, Gibbs, let’s shut it down for the rest of the year! If you’re worried about wasting time, why don’t you just shut it down?!

Republican-itis may be spread through the air waves, citizens. Forewarned is forearmed.

RUSH: Let’s just shut it down everybody go home and have a Merry Christmas!

Rush nearing on hysteria here. One hopes the crash cart is near.

RUSH: The only way anyone will have a Merry Christmas is to forget the Democrats and their attempts to destroy this country!

Yes, indeed Rush! Instead of getting anything done, we should let Jim DeMint have pending legislation read to him on the Senate floor just to make sure he actually reads it and all, since y’all can’t be trusted to do that on your own time and of your own volition. So somehow, we need to find time for DeMint’s special needs, and yet we also need to shut the Senate down and go home for Christmas! It’s almost as if Rush is as confused as elected Republicans. Is this an epidemic?

Oh, we feel for Mr DeMint and his friends, but special reading sessions for the Republican slow members of the Senate is simply not in our budget and I would hate to steal from our grandkids just to help Mr De Mint and his colleagues feel special. Perhaps he needs to go to his local community and beg for help. His church, perhaps?

We can’t dumb down the Senate in a PC attempt to help Mr DeMint and his friends feel good about themselves. They’ve got to earn it like everyone else. However, in the spirit of Christmas, we could remove them from the Senate and just never tell them, trotting them out in front of a microphone every week so they can moan about how Obama expects them to read, and then send them on back to whomever has volunteered to care for them that week, because of course, we can’t keep footing their healthcare bill. That would be rewarding laziness.

The Republicans are now arguing that they would rather stall the START treaty ratification because Jim DeMint can’t read, nuclear threat be damned. Does anyone know what we’re paying these folks for if they can’t or won’t read a rather important 17 page document relating to national security that they’ve had on their desk for over 6 months? With all due respect, these boys need to man up and dig in to do the work of the American people before we get nuked.

Just sayin’.

Image courtesy of Media Matters

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