Romney/Palin 2012: Could Mitt Get Desperate Enough For This?

Romney/Palin 2012: Could Mitt Get Desperate Enough For This?

It’s just possible that Sarah Louise Heath born a stone’s throw from Randy Weaver’s infamous Ruby Ridge, Idaho, could be Mitt Romney’s 2012 running mate if Romney captures the Republican Presidential nomination. Probably not, but humor me here.

I apologize. I should have started with Sarah Louise Heath Palin. Let us proceed. It’s not beyond the realm of possibility that at least the far right wing of the Republican Party will seriously push for Palin for VP. Let’s check her media & travel CV for the last couple of years.

For a few months, TLC Cable Network carried something called ‘Sarah Palin’s Alaska’. It debuted in November of 2010 to a record first-episode viewing audience of 5 million. By the next week 2 million of those folks had taken a hike out of Sarah Palin’s Alaska. It left the air to never return, in January of 2011.

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But Sarah didn’t miss a beat. She gets an estimated $100,000 a pop every time she sashays to the podium. A couple of years ago, a California judge ordered Cal-State University, Stanislaus to reveal the contents of a Palin contract for a speech to be delivered at the school. She cut Cal-State a break on the fee -  $75,000, but the contract demanded first-class air travel, ‘deluxe’ hotel accommodations, and a chauffer-driven SUV or black Town Car to carry her to and fro.

Last year she concentrated on something called a one-nation tour well covered at that time by my Politicus colleagues. As you’ll recall, Palin toured historic sites in a giant Willie Nelson-type tour bus about the size of a rolling football field. Emblazoned across the back were the words, Join the “Fundamental Restoration of America”.

Palin sojourned in such historic stops as Mount Vernon, Fort McHenry, Gettysburg, Independence Hall and the Statue of Liberty. Hopefully there wasn’t a quiz at the end of this ego trip because she doesn’t know shit about history or little else of consequence. Would that unalterable fact prevent consideration for VP? It didn’t in 2008, why would it four years later?

Palin is definitely keeping current. Wednesday, March 28th she contributed a piece to Fox Nation entitled “God, Guns, the Constitution – Still Clinging.” She wrote about a new book that’s she’s recommending, “Dispatches from Bitter America: a Gun Toting, Chicken Eating, Son of a Baptist’s Culture War Stories.” By a Todd Starnes. It was apparently too late to insert ‘minority killing’ Culture War Stories. It’s all about the Obama Administration’s war on religious liberty. I wonder what right-wing ‘Think Tank’ will buy many thousands of copies to make it look like a big seller.

So she’s still very much present. But why would I think she would be invited to join the Romney ticket? For one of the same reasons she was selected to join John McCain in 2008. She’s a woman. The GOP desperately needs a high-profile woman in 2012. The republican ‘War on Women’ is huge for Obama/Biden. Women will elect Obama. The clueless Romney gets little help from Ann, his adoring, but apparently equally clueless wife. When she does mention women, she talks about their concerns about the economy and the deficit. No meaningful women’s issues like reproductive rights and pay discrimination seem to escape her lips. The Romneys have no distaff game.

Of course, Sarah is also clueless and devoid of any positions remotely appealing to the population of women who read and think beyond soap operas and six screaming kids under ten. Not terribly helpful in gaining the women’s vote other than the gooberette Deep South or perennially pregnant, Fox News, bible groupies.  Sooooo – it’s up to the menfolk. That’s the target electorate for a Palin vice-presidency. Right-wing men primarily think of women as objects; cook, clean and cavort. Give ’em a gun and a gal and they’re good to go. Read a paper? Research an issue? Take the word of anybody other than Limbaugh, O’Reilly and Hannity?

About as likely as watching RuPaul’s Drag Race.

I got hell in the comment section once for kidding about the hemline of South Carolina governor, Nikki Haley when I went for a constituent visit. I give a shit about the governor’s hemline. But I’m telling you that’s what goobers fantasize about; hemlines and Palin as a sex object. That’s goobertown. They talk about guns, God and gays? It’s guns, God, gays and GALS! And that’s the only reason Palin might possibly be invited to board the Romney campaign bus. I know it sounds shallow and it is, but everybody avoids the obvious. Other than goober wet dreams, she has nothing to offer thinking human beings, but the male camo-crowd can be seduced to vote for a GOP ticket with Palin.

There was a discussion just the other night on MSNBC’s Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell about the male side of the political sex equation. It was decided that good looks and sex appeal matter in a presidential election and Jack Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were named as examples. So pay attention – the same thing applies to females.

On the negative side of the Palin political ledger, unless there is a brokered convention with a third-party run by the likes of Huntsman or Bloomberg, Sarah will never get in the near-term what she truly lives for, the chance to be president. A Ron Paul Libertarian Party move does her no good whatsoever. Those are votes mostly stolen from conservatives.

There’s also the matter of husband Todd and his dalliances at the Anchorage massage parlor. Anchorage cops immediately cleared Palin of having any involvement with a prostitution ring. That wasn’t the point. People in the building heard moans coming from the naughty masseuses office soon after Todd entered. I believe them. I’ve never seen a story buried as quickly as that one, but methinks that tabloid body could be exhumed by the judicious spreading around of a few hundred thou. The final and most likely deadly blow to Palin’s chances would be the fact that neither Karl Rove nor Roger Ailes like her anymore. Most of it stems from the fact that Palin elected to tell a talk show host she wasn’t running for president instead of breaking the story on the network that’s paying her $1 million a year through 2013.

But political dynamics can change in a finger-snap. Palin has already pledged to attend the GOP convention in Tampa and it’s not just to wear one of those silly hats.

 

 

 

 

 

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