Chuck Norris Displays Comedic Talents on Scott Walker’s Behalf

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Chuck Norris says “We have no time to lose” and has rushed to the support of Gov. Scott Walker in Wisconsin in order to put the breaks on some sort of left-wing recall election domino effect across America.

In a column on WND (of course), the former movie star and near-actor Chuck Norris, showed America why so many jokes are told about him as he screwed his thinking cap on sideways for World Net Daily, presenting himself as the equal of Bill Clinton; a hired-gun to balance the odds in Wisconsin because “ last Friday, when I saw them also send in the big guns, former President Bill Clinton himself, against Gov. Walker, I knew I had to enter the ring, too.”

Cue the Ennio Morricone theme because this is about to turn into a Spaghetti Western – unintentionally funny and melodramatic:

Gov. Scott Walker is not a RINO, or “Republican in name only.” He walks his conservative talk. He refuses special interests. He opposes accumulating debt and raising deficits. He cuts excess spending. And he stands for issues that are important to every conservative, Constitution- and freedom-loving patriot.

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Don’t stop gagging yet; we’re just getting started. This is what Norris says Walker has done for Wisconsin:

On Day One in office, Gov. Walker began to implement a comprehensive Emergency Jobs Plan. As his website explains, he and the Wisconsin Legislature passed measures that included, but were not limited to:

  • cutting taxes on small businesses
  • curbing frivolous lawsuits that drove costs up
  • eliminating the state tax on health savings accounts
  • reforming the Department of Commerce into a true economic development agency
  • immediately convening a waste, fraud and abuse commission that was intent on curtailing wasteful spending at all levels of state government

Leaving aside the fact for a moment that the Chuckles (Chuck, can I call you Chuckles because I can’t stop laughing) is supporting one of the most dishonest politicians in America, a guy who lies like most of us breathe, there is the issue of Walker’s failed record as governor.

Chuckles lauds Walker’s creation of “more than 23,000 jobs since January 2011…The Associated Press reported that 23,300 jobs were created in 2011, based upon soon-to-be-released figures from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Workforce Development spokesman John Dipko said it was exactly 23,608. More than good news for Gov. Walker, that’s good news for Wisconsin.”

Actually, of course, Wisconsin led the nation in job losses over the last 12 months – 23,900 of them to be exact. You might remember that Walker promised to create 250,000 jobs if he was elected governor. Chuck Norris is telling us that 23,000 jobs out of 250,000 promised is success – that’s a warped grading curve if ever there was one – can you get 1 out of 10 right on a pop-quiz and get an “A” like Scott Walker?

That’s funny stuff. And it doesn’t end there:

While the fight for conservatives doesn’t start and stop in Wisconsin, it’s an OK Corral of sorts for Democrats and liberals. When their groundless recall of Gov. Walker is shot down, a potent statement will be sent across our land about the type of government We the People want.

That’s interesting imagery – the OK Corral. The gunfight at the OK Corral was basically an Old West drive-by shooting. Does that mean Republicans are going to gun-down the Democrats who oppose them? Chuckles is an NRA spokesman, after all. What are we to make of this kind of talk?

Well… Chuck Norris, you might remember, is the guy who thinks public education is a progressive conspiracy (which might explain some of his crazy ideas), and who has suggested the possibility of a second American Revolution if gun owners don’t get their way (in other words, if we don’t get our way we’re not going to take our toys and go home, we’re going to use them), and that it will begin in Texas, though maybe he’s willing to make an exception for Wisconsin. Put his OK Corral comment in that context.

This is also the guy, who in 2009, insisted that “If this thing [healthcare reform] passes the government will have the right to come into our home, and regulate how we raise our children,” and most striking of all was a huge Newt Gingrich supporter, endowing the failed candidate with almost messiah-like qualities – qualities that now seem to have been transferred to Scott Walker.

If he doesn’t do more for Walker than he did for Gingrich, it’s all over in Wisconsin for the GOP’s totalitarian push.

He closes with a Reaganesque appeal, further demonstrating that he has no more clue than any other Republican what Reagan was about. For example, Reagan said the right to join a union is “one of the most elemental human rights” and that collective bargaining “played a major role in America’s economic miracle” and signed (at the time) the largest expansion of Medicare in its history, along with his increasing the size of the Federal government and raising taxes several times. We certainly shouldn’t forget that it was Reagan who said a bus driver shouldn’t pay higher taxes than a millionaire or who in his autobiography blasted radical conservatives who thought “compromise” was a dirty word.

Look, Chuck Norris has a right to think what he wants and he can certainly believe what he wants, but what his column in WND amounts to is lies told to support a bunch of other lies – by Norris’ definition, Reagan himself would qualify as a RINO (Republican in name only), making his appeal to Reagan at the end of his diatribe a very Walker-esque thing to do.

The Blaze predicts “it wouldn’t be unusual for social media forums to greet the announcement with a number of clever, political Chuck Norris jokes” but Chuck Norris jokes aren’t necessary when Chuck Norris himself is the joke. If I didn’t know better, I would conclude that Chuck Norris is another Stephen Colbert and having it on with conservatives. Sadly for all concerned, that seems not to be the case.

13 Replies to “Chuck Norris Displays Comedic Talents on Scott Walker’s Behalf”

  1. Public schools a conspiracy?? My niece graduated from a suburban public school on Saturday. She’s going to another public school in the state of Ohio, OSU regional campus in Lima,Ohio.

    Yeah, Scott Walker’s fan base is more frightful than his pimps and madams who give him the$$$$$.

    GO WISCONSIN…DUMP WALKER

    (The habitual liar, not the cowboy)

  2. The ability of the GOP to package misinformation and outright lies into “truths” is what is making this political season so dangerous.
    Facts are now inconvenient, or just won’t fit the GOP narrative of destroying the Obama administration.
    I would love to say that Chuck Norris is the tip of the spear of lies that pervade the GOP, but that title goes to Grover Norquist, with Paul Ryan coming in a very close second.
    Norris represents everything stupid about the GOP, only the GOP will dress him up to hid his absolute ignorance and use what celebrity he has left to perpetrate their egregious lies.
    The problem is, this fool carry’s weight and has somewhat of an influence on those on the sidelines who actually listen to the misinformation this idiot vomits forth.
    What is so maddening about this political season, and the nasty climate that is developing between the candidates, is the total lack of facts and truth, on either side, to actually overtake the conversation and prove that the GOP has, for the past 3.5 years done everything in its power to regain power at the cost of our current economy and lives. Wonderful legacy to look forward too, for if Walker wins, Obama is surely doomed to lose, and that bodes ill for all of us, liberal and conservative alike. Our economy will tank, and there will be bread lines as in the 1930’s, only this time, there actually could be a revolution, but a real revolution, one with guns and death. Our country will again be divided, but it will be along the lines of the “haves” who can finance an army, and the “have nots” like ourselves, who will have to take to the “hills” in order to survive and conduct a civil gorilla war on the rich.
    If Walker wins, and the GOP wins the White House, it’s only a matter of time before the above scenario could actually takes place.

  3. I think I’m crazy, but for Grins and giggles, I just posted the comment above to WND. Let the attacks begin, oh my!

  4. David29073, I can see protests on Romney’s inauguration day. Remember when they threw eggs at Bush and he had to stop walking up Penn. Ave, and get into his hidey-hole? This time, it may be more than eggs. Romney will have to have an M-1 Abrams tank to ride in. He will not stand on the throne for long, but he can do irreparable harm. Let’s not let that happen.

  5. David, I’d say that they’re actually counting on that.

    If Romney is defeated, I expect violence, and worry that they will start hunting down “libruls”. If Romney wins, I expect the same, but this time with official government sanction. At the same time I expect that Mormon (fundamentalist) will start WWIII with the Islamic nations – WWIII with nuclear weapons.

    We’re facing a situation eerily similar to Germany when Hitler came to power.

    Who will be the ones that are targeted this time? Their rhetoric says it all.

  6. I get quite disgusted when I hear all of the attacks on the Public school system. Of course it doesn’t do well… when you keep cutting money but expecting a better outcome… that’s a recipe for failure. They’ve been cutting funds for decades and it’s been showing for some time. They also insist that private schools are better than public, but that’s not only been proved false, the problem is that the private schools are far more likely to program them with lies and nonsense.

    One of my nieces attended a “Good Christian” private high school. I got treated to a sermon against evolution on her graduation (her school was so proud of hiring onto its staff an anti-evolution activist). Another niece (who lived in this area) attended a public school, and we attended both her baccalaureate and her graduation. We got treated to sermons also… AoG standard fare if you know what I mean. I don’t appreciate being put in a position where I am forced to tolerate overt proselytizing from the sort of church I walked away from.

    I worry about them. The damned “Good Christians” have filled their heads with nonsense and I suspect far more than we have realized. One niece has said things about the medical systems in another country that I know were lies… but that’s what she’d been taught (by her college). Everything supported how “Good” American Capitalism is, and how bad any other system is.

    We don’t see them very often, and I think they avoid any subject where we’d disprove their (fundamentalist) church’s teachings when we do see them – and us when they can. Which is sad… they don’t live that far away. I suspect it’s because we refuse to drink the kool-aid.

  7. What a tool! Yeah sure, Chuck is a “freedom-loving patriot” all right but ONLY when it comes to HIS freedoms. Chuck wants to legislate prayer (Christian only)in schools, criminalize abortion, teach creationism as science etc etc. etc. I swear, I don’t understand how these hypocritical nut jobs can constantly speak out of both sides of their mouth and not realize they’re doing it.

  8. Hadn’t thought about it quite that way, but it seems that the polarization of this country is becoming more solidified as the election draws closer. I hope that your prediction of an Obama win is off the mark, but have a gut feeling that what you are saying will happen, and happen with a vengeance that will make what is going on in Syria look like a paintball match. Could happen “Walkaway” could happen. Not a bright future for anyone, liberal or conservative, if the “ultras” continue to highjack the narrative.

  9. Been saying it for years now, Chuck Norris is a loony rightwing nimrod pushing lies and standing up for bullies and crooks. He’s not cool in any way, he’s a pathetic joke who takes his own BS seriously.

  10. The only conservative that can do comedy well it Sean Hannity. The only thing Hannity has in common with Chuck Norris is that both of them lie constantly.

    it’s obvious that Chuck Norris put a zero plugs and when it comes to special interests. I would imagine he has never heard of the Koch brothers

  11. Chuck like so many who Refused to serve in Viet Nam is a Poser. He liked to pretend he had the Balls to be a Soldier but he did not. He hid out in the Rear and never Volunteered to fight, since he is only a Hollywood Boy who ‘acts’ tough. He is supporting a Draft-Dodger, Willard Romney, so they can both pretend to be Warriors. Pitiful when Hollywood Draft-Dodgers and wannabes like Norris are what some idiots believe are Men.

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