Get Ready to Tread on Some Tea Party Snakes

Confederate Gladsen

“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent” – Isaac Asimov, Foundation (1951)

We’ve seen how a discredited economic ideology can destroy an entire country. America isn’t that many steps from where Greece is now. It is just one political party away from disaster.

Perhaps the tea party thinks austerity is too slow. Liquor is quicker, as the old adage goes, but what goes better with booze than hairy-bellied cretins with assault rifles and chronically low IQs?

You guessed right: the tea party. Austerity hell! Let’s shoot stuff!

And no longer content with violent and racist rhetoric, they’re here to throw the entire goddamn country into Boston Harbor.

Okay, okay, I’m being unfair. They have to FIND Boston Harbor first, and with figures like tea party saints Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann to guide them, that outcome is far from assured, and Bachmann, at least, may be giving directions from a prison cell.

Isaac Asimov wrote that, “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” The tea party is bending over backward to prove Asimov right. We’ve seen how both egregious dishonesty and government shut down have failed to prevent over a million people enrolling for Obamacare. The economy, despite their best efforts, continues to improve. Efforts to disenfranchise the Democratic electorate has failed in two presidential elections and women – if not tea partiers – continue to vote their self-interest.

What’s a hater to do?

Unable to win an election, unable to sustain any reasonable level of popularity among the people they claim to represent, and increasingly disliked by so-called “establishment” Republicans, the tea party has become increasingly shrill, its rhetoric more violent, and now, at the eleventh hour, comes the treason we all knew was coming: the calls for armed insurrection against the twice constitutionally-elected president of the United States.

I suppose they figure if they can’t get the votes, they can use the bullets – their vaunted and much-talked about Second Amendment remedies. Their problem, however, remains the same, and glaringly obvious to anyone paying attention: the grim calculus of treason is that there are more loyal Americans than there are treasonous low-life’s who like to wave Confederate flags and AR-15s- and those people don’t like the tea party much.

This basic fact does not seem to trouble iconic tea party darling Larry Klayman in the least, but then, Larry Klayman mistook a few dozen people for a million; But let’s not discount his buddy William Gheen, president of the Americans for Legal Immigration PAC (ALIPAC) who said Sunday if tea party bigots don’t get their way there will be a “violent revolution”; And there is New Hampshire Rep. J.R. Hoell, who really does not approve of Scott Brown, and who sees a day coming when real Americans will vote with bullets; and Jim Garrow thinks some sort of anti-Obama guerilla war is about to begin.

You find yourself almost wishing they could try, except that innocent people would die as a result of their reckless hatred and deplorable math skills.

Of them all, it is perhaps Larry Klayman who seems troubled by reality itself, as he struggles to find an actual reason to revolt beyond simply not liking President Obama very much. Apparently, the Obama administration is just a priori criminal in a way only delusional tea partiers can see:

This criminal government conduct and its chilling effect on the First Amendment free speech and associational rights of all Americans cannot be tolerated. If the courts do not step in to stop this massive violation of constitutional rights and then seriously monitor the offending government agencies to make sure that the nation’s spy apparatus is used for the purposes for which it is intended – to legitimately protect our national security – then this is cause enough to wage revolution, using all legal and God given means – to end this evil subjugation.

And Right Wing Watch reports on Hoell’s spiel:

Steve MacDonald: We’ve had a number of pro-Second Amendment rallies here in New Hampshire. A lot of people would show up with holstered revolvers or handguns, some people will have worn their rifles as well over their shoulders. Is it going to be that kind of a rally? Is that something that you are asking people to do or asking them not to?

JR Hoell: I’m never going to tell a person not to carry a firearm. I will recommend people carry firearms concealed, tactically it’s a better solution, doesn’t mean you have to be a target. In terms of messaging to the media, if you are carrying concealed versus having an AR-15 or an AR-10 over your back, it’s a lot easier to make the statement we’re not here to threaten anybody. We’re here standing on our soapbox, as opposed to standing with our ammo box in hand, to make a point politically. The message needs to get out that Scott Brown does not represent New Hampshire. If things continue the way they are, there may be a day or a time where firearms and ammo are necessary, happened in the Revolutionary War. I’d like to think we’re not there yet but as things continue to unravel, that may be the next step. Let’s stand on our soap box this time.

Jim Garrow seems to think he has to hold the faithful back for just the right moment (when reality somehow becomes conservative-friendly?):

Patience my friends, patience. As with all the realizations that we have, the immediacy of our perceived need and our need for immediate gratification can blind us to the larger picture and that magic essence called “timing”. We are seeing ever larger groups of people calling down the Marxist in the White House and his oligarchic machinations. We are reading more and more publications who are calling for Obama’s impeachment and removal. We are sensing the almost panicked utterances of a bevy of hapless “spokesmen” for the ruling elite marched in front of the cameras and interpreting for us the “reality” that they want us to see. We call those lies and spin and obfuscation. What is wonderful is that the majority of the public have caught on and are ticked.

Here is a spokesman for the real spin masters telling US that WE have been manipulated, because we, of course, are the only ones still thinking for ourselves, who have both feet still firmly planted in the terra firma of the really real, the facts on the ground, I-am-by-God-standing-right-here world. That fact places us in opposition to Fox News, which is to be defined as the folks “interpreting the ‘reality’ that they want us to see” (and Garrow has watched a bit too much of it).

Don’t tread on me? To Larry Klayman, to New Hampshire tea partier J.R. Hoell, to Jim Garrrow, and to all you others who wish to line yourselves up in front of a wall, my message is the same, and oddly biblical (Luke 10:19): Like the snakes of the earth, bubba. Like the snakes of the earth.

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