Oh sweet little six-and-a-half-pound rifle-totin’ government hatin’ baby Jesus. Florida Governor Rick Scott has taken the “Thanks, Obama!” meme to a whole ‘nother level by blaming President Obama and hospitals for his massive suckage factor.
As an editorial in the Tampa Bay Times tells us, “Rick Scott is all about avoiding responsibility and blaming others.”
But that’s not the craziest news recently, believe it or not. And whatever Scott’s got, it’s not limited to Florida. In fact, to judge by recent outbursts from people like Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz and Louie Gohmert, it may have come to Florida by way of Texas.
We saw Tuesday how Texas Republican Louie Gohmert jumped on the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy bandwagon. But it turns out it’s not Gohmert’s fault he’s an idiot. It’s Obama’s.
He said it’s all because Obama picked on nuns.
Gohmert’s “logic” began with the Little Sisters of the Poor not wanting to sign a Obamacare birth control waiver because God doesn’t allow Obamacare waiver signing, apparently (I missed that passage in the Bible). At least, that is what he told right wing hate group leader Tony Perkins on Washington Watch Wednesday:
From this administration’s standpoint, if you’re a saintly nun that has dedicated your life to helping the helpless, well, we’ve got to sue you and force you into our program, forget your religious beliefs, we’re coming after you. This is the kind of thing this administration does, they help make people concerned about their government.
Apparently, a bunch of deranged nuns saying “God tells them not to” sign a waiver makes people distrust the federal government.
I think it’s more likely that a bunch of racist white folks with AR-15s distrust the government because a black man is living in a white house:
If you’re still not connecting the dots here, Gohmert then takes you to the Posse Comitatus Act, which led him to the 1993 Waco incident.
The Posse Comitatus Act (18 U.S.C. § 1385, original at 20 Stat. 152) of 1878, you might remember, placed limits on the use of federal troops to keep law and order, unless directed by the President or by Congress. This ultimately made it easier for white folks to terrorize blacks without interference.
Whoever, except in cases and under circumstances expressly authorized by the Constitution or Act of Congress, willfully uses any part of the Army or the Air Force as a posse comitatus or otherwise to execute the laws shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.
-Title 18, U.S. Code, Section 1385
The Waco incident centered on the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms raid on the Branch Davidian compound on February 28, 1993, which resulted in four dead ATF agents, six dead Branch Davidians, and a 51-day siege followed by an all-out assault that killed 76 people.
So to review this exercise in Gohmertian Logic:
Little Sisters of the Poor –> Posse Comitatus Act –> Waco –> Jade Helm 15.
Got that yet?
Now there is a common thread here: the Little Sisters of the Poor is a Catholic organization and Spanish people tend to be Catholics and a lot of Spanish people emigrated to Central America and a lot of Central Americans have emigrated to Texas, a place where white folks benefitted immensely from Yankee troops going home so they could beat up, lynch, and otherwise terrorize helpless black folks, and where lunatic David Koresh stockpiled an arsenal that allowed him to face down the ATF and the federal government, all of which seems to somehow inspire other lunatics like Louie Gohmert to think the federal government maybe wants some payback from Texas?
Hey, don’t blame me. I’m just trying to make sense of it all, because frankly, this is some kooky sh*t. If you’ve got a better explanation, roll it out in the comments below.
We shamelessly tease these people because they are idiots:
But they are so serious about it:
As just two examples.
Which only makes it all that much funnier – and embarrassing. In fact, Texas is such an embarrassment at this point that I doubt we could give it away. After all, what advanced nation would want a big chunk of 13th century dragging them down?
What Texas needs, as I’m sure President Obama understands, is not federal intervention, but psychiatric intervention on a large scale, something that would make the Berlin Airlift look like child’s play by comparison.
Unfortunately, though the government has apparently figured out how to turn people gay, it hasn’t figured out how to turn people smart.